Nowdays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation. Why might this be the case ? What could be the disadvantages of being self- employed?
In the modern world,
people
would prefer to be self-employed compared to working in a company
. While
many people
decide to be self-employed, there are also
some drawbacks of being self-employed for some reasons that are set out below.
New trends create different mindsets and points of view. As a result
, the majority of people
would want to be self-employed as it creates a more clear path for those who have taken this
path. When people
make their own decisions according to
their personal interests,Correct word choice
apply
while
working in a company
means that they must follow instructions and job description
as stated by the Fix the agreement mistake
descriptions
company
. In addition
, working as a self-employed person can be more flexible in time as people
work by themselves based on their speed and do not rely on other people
. Furthermore
, self-employed people
can directly receive income from customers and have a high revenue in the near future compared to salaries Correct your spelling
received
receieved
from Correct your spelling
received
company
On the other hand
, by being self-employed, people
should be ready to exert more effort and take the risk of their decision compared to working for companies.This
occurs because having a personal business requires huge commitment and consistency in order to maintain a good balance with other aspects in
life including economic challenges. Change preposition
of
Moreover
, self-employed workers must be ready to face many failures as one of the many risks of being self-employed means that the working system they create is still not perfect compared to companies' working systems that have been created and perfected for many years.
To conclude
, self-employed may create a more flexible working time and finish the job based on their working speed despite the requirement of having a
great willpower and effort to start maintaining a good result.Remove the article
apply
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coherence cohesion
While your essay flows logically and is well-structured, it could benefit from more defined transitions between paragraphs.
task achievement
Your points are well-supported, but including specific examples would make your arguments stronger.
task achievement
Consider rephrasing some sentences for clarity and conciseness. This will make your argument more impactful.
introduction conclusion present
You provided a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in presenting your main ideas effectively.
logical structure
Your essay maintains a logical structure throughout, making it easy for the reader to follow your arguments.
complete response
You addressed both parts of the task comprehensively, discussing both reasons for self-employment and its drawbacks.
clear comprehensive ideas
Your ideas are clear and presented in a coherent manner, which contributes to the overall readability of your essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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