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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In many countries today, crime novels and TV crime dramas are becoming more and more popular. Why do you think these books and TV shows are popular? What is your opinion of crime fiction and TV crime dramas? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowiedge or experience.

In several nations, the
viewerships
Fix the agreement mistake
viewership
show examples
 of
crime
Use synonyms
 shows and the sales of
crime
Use synonyms
 novels are increasing. The rise of
this
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 popularity could be
atrributed
Correct your spelling
attributed
 to the fact that
Linking Words
this
Correct pronoun usage
these
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 are well-crafted
stories
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, which
caters
Correct subject-verb agreement
cater
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 to
individual's
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individuals
individual
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 with
curious
Correct article usage
a curious
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 nature seeking for thrill and
dopamine
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 hit.
In other words
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,
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stories
Correct article usage
the stories
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, plots and characters of these
crime
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 dramas and novels are interesting and often inspired by real-life incidents and filled with suspense and thrill. By watching and reading
such
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crime
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stories
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 during their
lesuire
Correct your spelling
leisure
 time, they are able to entertain their curiosity, which often feels rewarding as it
stimulate
Change the verb form
stimulates
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 the
dopamine
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 hormone, which provides instant gratification. The rewarding nature of instant gratification results in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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addiction amongst the
views
Replace the word
viewers
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 and they are often drawn to
crime
Use synonyms
stories
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 to gain
dopamine
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 stimulation. In my opinion,
Correct article usage
the
show examples
crime
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 genre not only
serve
Change the verb form
serves
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 as a great source of entertainment but
also
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 promotes
awarness
Correct your spelling
awareness
 about crimes around the world.
For instance
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, I was unaware
about
Change preposition
of
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 tourist trafficking, but when I watched the movie "Taken" I learned about local
guide
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guides
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 pretending to help
tourist
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tourists
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 only to gather information about them and leverage it to kidnap
tourist
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tourists
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 and
forced
Wrong verb form
force
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 them into prostitution. By watching
this
Linking Words
 movie I learn to be aware and cautious
while
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 travelling abroad.
Hence
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,
crime
Use synonyms
 novels and shows can be educational and could promote awareness. In conclusion, the growing popularity of books and
show
Correct subject-verb agreement
shows
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 focusing on
crime
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 is
due to
Linking Words
 their well-crafted
stories
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, enticing viewers and fostering
curiousity
Correct your spelling
curiosity
, which results in
dopamine
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 release. The desire for constant
dopamine
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 release is
a
Correct article usage
the
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 main reason why
viewer's
Change the noun form
viewers
viewer
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 are
draw
Wrong verb form
drawn
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 towards
Use synonyms
crime
Correct article usage
the crime
show examples
 genre.

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grammar
Make sure to use complete sentences and correct grammar. There are some errors in your writing that make it unclear.
coherence
Try to connect your ideas better. Use linking words (like 'firstly', 'for example', 'however') to help your reader follow your thoughts.
clarity
Improve the introduction by clearly stating what you will discuss. This will help the reader understand your main ideas at the start.
content
The essay has interesting ideas about crime novels and shows. You provide reasons that help to explain your opinion.
support
You give a personal example, which helps to support your point of view. This makes your argument stronger.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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