IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

The internet is often harmful, especially to young people, due to the amount and type of information people can access. To what extent do you agree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience.

The issue of the side effects of the
internet
Use synonyms
specially
Rephrase
especially
show examples
 to children has sparked considerable debate.
While
Linking Words
 some people believe that the
internet
Use synonyms
 does more harm than good, I firmly agree with that.
This
Linking Words
 essay will outline the reasons for my opinion.
Firstly
Linking Words
, I strongly believe that the
internet
Use synonyms
 is an
Correct your spelling
interesting
intersting
Correct your spelling
interesting
 place even for kids,
therefore
Linking Words
 the learning
prosses
Correct your spelling
process
show examples
 can be fun and
intertaining
Correct your spelling
entertaining
. It is
also
Linking Words
 a great tool to explore.
For example
Linking Words
, studies
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 shown that 50% of children discovered new hobbies through the
Use synonyms
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
.
Secondly
Linking Words
, The
internet
Use synonyms
 exposes young people to inappropriate content,
such
Linking Words
 as violence and pornography. Which can lead to lasting effects on their
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
 and development.
Therefore
Linking Words
, children should not be using the
internet
Use synonyms
 without supervision from their
perents
Correct your spelling
parents
.
In addition
Linking Words
, the
interent
Correct your spelling
internet
 can foster addiction, affecting young people's social skills, academic performance, and
overall
Linking Words
 quality of life. In conclusion, I strongly agree that it can be harmful
for
Change the preposition
to
show examples
 young minds.
This
Linking Words
Linking Words
due
Add a missing verb
is due
show examples
 to the various
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
content. And I believe a
balance
Change the verb form
balanced
show examples
 approach would
beneficial
Add a missing verb
be beneficial
show examples
overall
Linking Words
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Make sure to address all parts of the question clearly. You could strengthen your argument by providing more information about how the internet can also have positive aspects.
coherence and cohesion
Try to improve the order of your ideas so that each paragraph feels connected to the next. Consider using linking words like 'firstly,' 'in addition,' and 'finally.'
task achievement
Expand your points with more examples or details to support your claims. This will make your argument stronger and more convincing.
task achievement
Your introduction and conclusion clearly state your opinion, which shows a clear position on the topic.
task achievement
You mentioned specific harmful effects of the internet, like exposure to inappropriate content and addiction, which is relevant to the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • psychological wellbeing
  • inappropriate content
  • extremist ideologies
  • cyberbullying
  • misinformation
  • fake news
  • addiction
  • digital literacy
  • social interaction
  • creative expression
  • academic performance
  • critical thinking
  • navigating online content
What to do next:
Look at other essays: