IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Researchers shoes that people now day sleepless than they used to in the past what does you think is the reasons behind this? what are the effect on individual and society?

These days, the number of
people
Use synonyms
 who have insomnia has increased, unlike in the past. There are several
reasons
Use synonyms
 behind that, and there are
also
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 influences on
people
Use synonyms
 and communities. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will provide the potential
reasons
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 and the possible impacts on individuals and society. On the one hand, there are two main
reasons
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 that cause insomnia. Despite the
reasons
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 that stem from physical issues, I will concentrate on the behaviour of
people
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.
Firstly
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, stresses in today's
life
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 are a fact that affects both
people
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 and the community.
For instance
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, inflation makes
life
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 harder for
people
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; in some countries,
people
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 are merely making ends meet, and
as a result
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 of that,
people
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 become exhausted.
Also
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,
life
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's rapid rhythm has had a negative impact on societies.
Secondly
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, device overuse is one of the key factors of insomnia. To illustrate, the majority of
people
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 use their phones before falling asleep;
consequently
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,
this
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 deprives them of sleep.
On the other hand
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, the consequences of a lack of sleep cause serious issues.
For example
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, health problems
such
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 as a weak immune system.
This
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 is the gateway for many diseases.
Furthermore
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, sometimes accidents happen because of a lack of sleep. There are drivers who are falling asleep
while
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 they driving, so
this
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 is a huge issue for road safety.
To sum up
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, regular sleep is crucial for humans to function well and avoid many problems.
Nevertheless
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, it gives
people
Use synonyms
 a stable
life
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 in many fields. So, we should avoid that and seek solutions for it.

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task achievement
Make the introduction clearer by stating the main points you will discuss in the essay.
coherence cohesion
Try to use more linking words to connect your ideas and paragraphs more smoothly.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples or studies to support your points about insomnia and its effects.
task achievement
You addressed both reasons and effects of insomnia well in the essay.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which is important for structure.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • sleep
  • stress
  • technology
  • anxiety
  • modern life
  • working hours
  • lifestyle
  • social activities
  • distractions
  • people
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