IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people say that manufacturers and supermarkets should take the responsibility of reducing the amount of packaging of goods. Others argue that customers should take responsibility and avoid buying goods with a lot of packaging. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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There is a debate about who should be responsible for reducing product packaging. Some people believe that
manufacturers
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 and
supermarkets
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 should take action,
while
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 others argue that
customers
Use synonyms
 should avoid buying goods with excessive packaging.
This
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 essay will discuss both views before presenting my own opinion. First of all, some people believe that
manufacturers
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 and
supermarkets
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 should reduce packaging during production and the selling process.
For example
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, some
supermarkets
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 keep grain
products
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 in large glass jars or containers, so
customers
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 can buy only the amount they need.
This
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 design can reduce unnecessary packaging because
products
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 do not need to be packed separately in plastic bags.
Therefore
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, it can be a more eco-friendly way to sell goods.
However
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, if the storage environment is not carefully controlled,
this
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 may cause food safety problems.
For example
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, high temperature and humidity may cause grains to become mouldy.
Secondly
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, others argue that
customers
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 should take responsibility by avoiding goods with a lot of packaging.
For instance
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, when people go to
supermarkets
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, they can choose loose fruit and vegetables
instead
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 of those wrapped in plastic. If more
customers
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 refuse to buy over-packaged
products
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, companies may realise that they need to change their packaging methods. In
this
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 way, consumers can use their purchasing choices to encourage businesses to reduce waste. In my opinion, both sides have responsibility, but
manufacturers
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 and
supermarkets
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 should take the main role.
This
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 is because they decide how
products
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 are packaged before
customers
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 buy them.
However
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, they
also
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 need to make sure that reducing packaging does not create hygiene or food safety problems.
Customers
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,
on the other hand
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, should support environmentally friendly
products
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 whenever possible. In conclusion, reducing unnecessary packaging is important, but it should not be done at the cost of hygiene and safety. I believe that
manufacturers
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 and
supermarkets
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 should take greater responsibility,
while
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customers
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 should
also
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 help by choosing
products
Use synonyms
 with less packaging.

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task response
For task response, your answer covers both sides and gives your own view, which is good. To reach a higher score, you can explain your opinion more deeply in one or two places.
task response
For task response, your examples are clear, but they are a bit simple. Add one more specific example to make your ideas stronger.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your essay is easy to follow and the order is clear. To improve, link some ideas more smoothly inside the body paragraphs.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, each paragraph has one main idea, which is good. To get a higher score, develop each main point a little more before moving to the next idea.
task response
For task response, you answer all parts of the question and give a clear opinion in the end.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, words like First of all, Secondly, Therefore, However, and In conclusion help guide the reader.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Sustainability
  • Eco-friendly
  • Carbon footprint
  • Excessive packaging
  • Biodegradable materials
  • Corporate social responsibility
  • Consumer advocacy
  • Environmental stewardship
  • Waste reduction
  • Recycling initiatives
  • Green practices
  • Minimalist lifestyle
  • Resource conservation
  • Sustainable consumption
  • Packaging alternatives
  • Regulatory measures
  • Ethical choices
  • Environmental impact assessment
  • Renewable resources
  • Compostable packaging
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