IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#aim #science #people #lives
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Science
 has always been a driving force behind human progress, contributing significantly to advancements in various fields
such
 as medicine, technology, and environmental sustainability.
While
 some may argue that the purpose of
science
 extends beyond improving
lives
, I strongly agree that its primary goal should be to enhance the well-being of humanity. One of the most compelling reasons why
science
 should focus on improving people's
lives
 is its potential to address pressing global challenges.
For example
, breakthroughs in medical
science
 have eradicated diseases
such
 as smallpox and drastically reduced mortality rates. Innovations in renewable energy technologies,
such
 as solar panels and wind turbines, have provided sustainable solutions to combat climate change, which directly impacts the quality of life. These advancements illustrate how
science
 can alleviate human suffering and create a healthier, more sustainable world.
Science
also
 plays a critical role in fostering societal progress by driving economic growth and improving education. Technological innovations,
such
 as the internet and artificial intelligence, have transformed industries and created new opportunities for individuals and communities.
Furthermore
, advancements in educational tools,
such
 as e-learning platforms and virtual reality, have made quality education more accessible, empowering people to achieve their potential. These contributions highlight how
science
 enhances not only individual
lives
 but
also
 society as a whole.
However
, it is important to recognize that
science
also
 serves purposes beyond immediate practical applications.
For instance
, fundamental research in fields like astronomy and particle physics may not directly improve
lives
 in the short term but expands humanity's understanding of the universe.
Such
 knowledge can inspire future generations, foster intellectual curiosity, and potentially lead to unforeseen breakthroughs that benefit society.
Therefore
,
while
 the primary aim of
science
 should be to improve
lives
, its broader goals should not be overlooked. In conclusion, the most important aim of
science
 should indeed be to improve people's
lives
 by addressing global challenges and advancing societal progress.
However
, the pursuit of knowledge for its own sake
also
 holds intrinsic value, as it can lead to long-term benefits and inspire future discoveries. Balancing practical applications with the broader scope of scientific inquiry ensures that
science
 continues to serve humanity in meaningful ways. Would you like me to refine any part of
this
 essay?
Submitted by dliyaa on

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positive
Keep maintaining clear and concise arguments as presented in the essay to effectively convey your perspectives.
cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to enhance coherence.
introduction conclusion
The essay presents a strong introduction and conclusion that clearly state the main argument and summarize the key points, enhancing overall clarity and cohesion.
examples
The use of specific examples, such as breakthroughs in medical science and renewable energy, effectively supports the main arguments, demonstrating a good task response.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • crucial role
  • technological advancements
  • medical discoveries
  • life-changing inventions
  • innovations
  • solutions to human problems
  • enhancing quality of life
  • improvement of healthcare
  • transportation
  • communication
  • agriculture
  • energy sectors
  • eradication of diseases
  • prolongation of life expectancy
  • global challenges
  • climate change
  • overpopulation
  • food security
  • developed world
  • underprivileged communities
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