It is important for everyone, including young people, to save money for their future. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

It is pertinent to all, even to the younger generation, to be economical in planning for their future. I strongly agree that saving money is
a
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key for individuals to achieve financial literacy and goals. One of the reasons why people lose their possessions and funds is through unforeseen events like health emergencies. Most of the time, families are ready to give up their lands, houses, and livelihoods to save their family members.
That is
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the reason why, It is a smart move for the youth to allocate a proportion of their salary to emergency funds and life insurance.
This
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ensures that in case of emergencies, there are enough reserves to support themselves or their families even without the ability to work secondary to their current health status.
On the other hand
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, the skill to set aside money for various uses implies the ability to reach the financial goals of individuals.
For instance
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, budgeting the monthly salary for future travels, financial investments, appliance upgrades, and buying a dreamhouse indicates that financial freedom and goals are achieved. It is because even though these adults are spending money on essential matters,
such
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as food and rent, they are still able to buy non-essential commodities and enjoy life without hurting their savings. In conclusion, it is my firm belief that younger adults must save for their future. It is an agreeable decision to allocate the salary of the younger generation for emergency funds and health insurance. It is
also
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smart to include non-essential matters,
such
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as
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appliances and travelling in order to gain financial freedom and literacy.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph clearly supports your main idea. Connect your points more clearly.
task achievement
Add more examples to support your points, especially for budgeting and saving scenarios.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly states your opinion on saving money.
coherence and cohesion
You used specific scenarios, like health emergencies, to explain your points clearly.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite
Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial security
  • safety net
  • unforeseen circumstances
  • emergencies
  • future investments
  • retirement planning
  • financial discipline
  • habit of saving
  • amassing wealth
  • substantial fund
  • opportunity cost
  • additional income
  • inflation
  • purchasing power
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