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Writing Samples
Band 6

It is becoming increasingly popular to have a year off between finishing school and going to university. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

There is no denying the fact that nowadays, it is becoming increasingly popular to have a
year
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 off between finishing
school
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 and going to
university
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,
this
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 has many
advantages
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 and
disadvantages
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.
This
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 essay will analyze
this
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 topic from both points of view. On the one hand, there are lots of
advantages
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 of having a
year
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 off between finishing
school
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 and going to
university
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.
Firstly
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, having a part-time job that requires high
school
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 study,
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this
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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will allow the
person
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 to have work experience before going to college.
In addition
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 to that, having a
year
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 for relaxation and enjoyment.
For example
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, a
person
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 can travel to explore the world and learn about other countries' cultures and traditions like clothes, celebrations and food .
On the other hand
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, the
disadvantages
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 of that may include a delay in education compared with other
students
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 of the same age.
As a result
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, a
person
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 might not find a job after graduating from
university
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 because of his age.
Additionally
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, a
person
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 may not be accepted by a
university
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 after a
year
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 off, because most universities offer seats to graduated
students
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 in the same
year
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firstly
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, and lately for others.
Moreover
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, the number of seats for fresh high
school
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 graduate
students
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 is higher than others, so the opportunity for having a seat is so low. In conclusion, the number of
students
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 who have a
year
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 off between
school
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 and
university
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 is increasing. There are a lot of
advantages
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 and
disadvantages
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 to that. The
advantages
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 may include taking time for relaxation,
while
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 the
disadvantages
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 might include delay in education. In my opinion, I think that the
disadvantages
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 outweigh the
advantages
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.

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Coherence and Cohesion
Make sure to connect your ideas more smoothly. Use linking words like 'however', 'for example', and 'moreover' to guide the reader better.
Task Achievement
Add a few more specific examples to support your points. This will make your arguments stronger.
Task Achievement
Your introduction clearly states the topic and your intention to analyze it, which is a good start.
Task Achievement
You present both sides of the argument, which shows good understanding of the issue.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • gap year
  • work experience
  • internships
  • traveling
  • life experiences
  • personal development
  • independent
  • self-reliant
  • educational progress
  • graduation timeline
  • financial burden
  • academic momentum
  • structured academic environment
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