IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In some countries, a few people earn extremely high salaries. Some people think that this is good for a country, while others believe that the government should control salaries and limit the amount that people can earn. Discuss both views and give your option.

In some countries, a small number of
people
Use synonyms
 earn very high incomes. Some
people
Use synonyms
 believe
this
Linking Words
 helps the
country
Use synonyms
 grow, but others think the
government
Use synonyms
 should limit how much
money
Use synonyms
 someone can
eart
Correct your spelling
earn
. Some
people
Use synonyms
 think that high
salaries
Use synonyms
 help the
country
Use synonyms
 grow. They think rich
people
Use synonyms
 help the
country
Use synonyms
 and provide more for the
country
Use synonyms
.
Like they
Change preposition
They
show examples
 pay more
tax
Fix the agreement mistake
taxes
show examples
, and the
government
Use synonyms
 can use that
money
Use synonyms
 to build schools,
hospitals
Correct word choice
and hospitals
show examples
, and
also
Linking Words
can
Verb problem
apply
show examples
help
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
poor
people
Use synonyms
too
Rephrase
apply
show examples
. High
salaries
Use synonyms
 make
people
Use synonyms
work
Use synonyms
 harder and try their best to earn the
money
Use synonyms
. Some jobs include doctors, scientists, or business leaders,
high
Correct word choice
and high
show examples
 payment can attract
those
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
talented
people
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
work
Fix the infinitive
to work
show examples
 on
Linking Words
this job
Fix the agreement mistake
these jobs
show examples
to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
work
Use synonyms
 in the
country
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 helps the
country
Use synonyms
 develop and improve. Of course, high
salaries
Use synonyms
 can make
people
Use synonyms
 have a better life, they can use it to buy a new house,
good
Add a missing verb
have good
show examples
 food to eat, and have
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
better healthcare. When
people
Use synonyms
 earn
money
Use synonyms
, they don’t worry much about much of bills or daily costs.
This
Linking Words
help
Change the verb form
helps
show examples
 them feel more relaxed and live a peaceful life.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there
Linking Words
also
Add a missing verb
are also
show examples
people
Use synonyms
think
Correct pronoun usage
who think
show examples
 that the
government
Use synonyms
 should control
salaries
Use synonyms
 and not
allowed
Wrong verb form
allow
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 to earn too much. They think that when a few
people
Use synonyms
 earn very
hgh
Correct your spelling
high
salaries
Use synonyms
 and others earn very little, it creates inequality. Many
people
Use synonyms
 may feel life is unfair, which can lead
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
poor
people
Use synonyms
 will do something like stealing or become a crime. Society may become less peaceful. Some
people
Use synonyms
 become rich not because they
work
Use synonyms
 hard, but because they are lucky or come from a rich family. The parent from a rich house may give the reproduction to their child.
This
Linking Words
 may make the
people
Use synonyms
 feel unfair. In my opinion, high
salaries
Use synonyms
 are good for a
country
Use synonyms
. They make
people
Use synonyms
work
Use synonyms
 harder and help the
country
Use synonyms
 grow. But I hope the
government
Use synonyms
 would use tax
money
Use synonyms
 from rich
people
Use synonyms
 to help the poor and reduce inequality.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure your ideas are clearly connected. Use simple linking words like 'first', 'second', 'also', and 'however'.
task achievement
Check your spelling for words like 'earn' and 'high'. Make sure to write them correctly.
task achievement
Try to give more specific examples to support your points. For example, mention more about how taxes help in society.
content
You have clearly explained both views about high salaries. This shows that you understand the topic well.
content
Your conclusion offers a balanced view. You suggest that high salaries can help, but also mention the importance of helping the poor.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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