IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In the past, most people lived in small villages where everyone knew everyone else. Nowadays, most people live in a large cities where they only know a few people in their are. What do you think were the advantages and disadvantages of living in a small community.

In the previous time, the majority of
people
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 used to live in small villages where all knew each other.
Conversely
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, in today's world, most
people
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 live in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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urban
areas
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 where they only know
few
Correct article usage
a few
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people
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.
This
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 essay will discuss the advantages and disadvantages of living in small villages. There are many benefits to living in small villages.
Firstly
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, living in a place where
everyone
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know
Change the verb form
knows
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 one another creates a familiar and emotionally supportive environment. Indeed, these citizens are more likely to help each other, whether emotionally or financially when it is needed. It has been shown that
people
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 in rural
areas
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 are more empathic and supportive than those living in the cities.
In addition
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, living in an area where you know
everyone
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 else, makes it safer walking around since you can only meet familiar faces.
On the other hand
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, despite the advantages, it is
also
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 important to take into account the downsides. First of all, the impossibility
to make
Change preposition
of making
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 new friendships. As the number of
habitants
Correct your spelling
inhabitants
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 in these
areas
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 is limited, it will be very challenging meeting new
people
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 and creating new human bonds. A recent study demonstrated that most
people
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 in these
areas
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 tend to
mantain
Correct your spelling
maintain
 the same
friendeships
Correct your spelling
friendships
friendship
 as those during
the
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apply
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childhood.
Additionally
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, another disadvantage
relatetes
Correct your spelling
relates
 to
the
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apply
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privacy. As a matter of fact,
everyone
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 is very likely to get to know
everyone
Use synonyms
 else's personal facts. Most of the time,
this
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 type of information is spread quickly among
people
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, even
they
Correct word choice
if they
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 are meant to be private. In conclusion,
although
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 living in small communities
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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 many benefits,
such
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 as
the
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apply
show examples
sopport
Correct your spelling
support
 and
the
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apply
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help from
the
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apply
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other
people
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 and
the
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apply
show examples
safety, there are
also
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 disadvantages that cannot be neglected
such
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 as social emargination and
the
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apply
show examples
privacy.

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task achievement
Your introduction is clear, but you can make it stronger by stating your opinion.
coherence and cohesion
Try to use clear topic sentences for each paragraph to improve the logical flow.
task achievement
Add more specific examples to support your main points.
coherence and cohesion
Check for spelling mistakes and grammar errors to make your writing clearer.
task achievement
You clearly identified the advantages and disadvantages of small communities.
coherence and cohesion
Your paragraphs are structured and focused on a single idea.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Tight-knit
  • Familiar faces
  • Neighborly
  • Camaraderie
  • Intimate
  • Bond
  • Unity
  • Loyalty
  • Security
  • Inclusiveness
  • Traditions
  • Harmony
  • Safety
  • Pristine
  • Green areas
What to do next:
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