Modern children are suffering from the diseases that were once considered to only be meant for adults. Obesity is a major disease prevalent among children. What are its causes, and what solutions can be offered?
One of the most prevalent trends in the contemporary world is the cumulative increase in playing with digital devices. It is completely agreed that the lack of physical exercise and eating unhealthy diets is the main reason for
obesity
. This
essay will discuss both causes and solutions before constructing an inference.
One cause of obesity
is the excess eating habits of junk food from the markets, which contains more energy and fats. Another factor is the lack of physical exercise, teenagers after school come at home and play video games and watch television. They spend all their time sitting at home in front of screens, which affects their brain and health. For example
, recently a report printed from the Blacktown Hospital, New South Wales, 25% of students are suffering from obesity
and anxiety. As a result
, it is evident that undergraduates do not listen to their parents and get fat.
The best solution is physical activities such
as sports and swimming. Parents should send their tutees to play games and do physical exercises. In addition
, make a timetable, so pupils can follow that table and perform tasks accordingly
.Moreover
, add a healthy diet to their daily routine food. Furthermore
, take them for picnics and hiking once a month, so they can physically fit and mix with other peers. For instance
, Elon Musk, confirmed in an interview that his children are following a strict timetable. As a consequence
, it is apparent why his family is so healthy.
In conclusion, following the analysis of causes and solutions, it is clear that
teachers and parents should put hard rules and regulations on sophomores, so they can get rid of obesity
and live a happy life. Further
, it is predicted that this
development will continue in the future as well if we do not take quick action.Submitted by rbtech65 on
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coherence cohesion
Make sure to provide clear topic sentences for each paragraph to guide the reader and clarify your arguments.
task achievement
Expand your examples to be more detailed and directly linked to the points you're making, enhancing relevance and impact.
coherence cohesion
Consider using a wider range of linking words and phrases to improve the flow of your essay.
task achievement
Avoid repeating the same ideas or phrases to enhance clarity and maintain the reader's interest.
coherence cohesion
Your essay presents a logical structure with a clear introduction, development of ideas, and a conclusion.
task achievement
You have appropriately identified and discussed significant causes and solutions related to childhood obesity.
task achievement
Good use of an example to support your argument, even if it could benefit from more detail.