IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The spread of multinational companies and the resulting increase of globalization produce positive effects to everyone. Do you agree or disagree?

In a globalized era, working with international organizations is easier than in the past. Some applicants enrol in multinational companies
due to
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 the lack of opportunities from local groups and the benefits of working with them. I strongly agree with the former opinion. I will give my own perspective in
this
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 essay. Collaborating with multinationals has a lot of impacts on your career in the future. Many employees try to join the company because it offers more benefits.
For example
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, joining a worldwide group can widen your relationship with foreigners. The challenge is that you must be able to speak a certain language with them.
That is
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 hard, but with that experience, you can add your skill to your curriculum vitae.
Secondly
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, many believe that multinational groups offer high salaries.
This
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 is what we are looking for. The more benefits you get the more skills you must obtain. In my view, international companies have positive impacts on the society. Looking for a job in
this
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 situation is difficult. We can see on the news that more university graduates are jobless.
This
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 tragedy happens because the government cannot supply the chances. And
also
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 the requirements for getting the job are hard for the starter. Regarding the lack of working opportunities, the worldwide groups come as the oasis in the job vacancy.
To sum up
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, some people believe that the local group is still the favourite one.
However
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, some individuals love challenges to grow.
Therefore
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 they try to join multinational companies. I personally agree and believe that working in different environments can upgrade our potential,
such
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 as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 being more adaptive to handling difficulties.

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task achievement
Your introduction is clear, but you could state your main points more directly at the end.
coherence cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea that connects to your overall argument.
task achievement
Use more specific examples to support your points, especially about job opportunities.
task achievement
Your essay has a clear opinion stated at the beginning, which helps the reader understand your point of view.
coherence cohesion
You made a good connection between global companies and career benefits.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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