IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

In some countries there are more young people choosing to enrol in work-based training instead of attending university. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

From political observation, there has been a tendency which the young rather participate in training
courses
Use synonyms
 for working experience rather than university. The author of
this
Linking Words
 essay believes that the benefits of practical experience and expansion of connection completely overshadowed the drawback of lack of professional knowledge. One undeniable advantage of
this
Linking Words
 trend is the practicality of the training
courses
Use synonyms
.
In other words
Linking Words
, thanks to these work-based trainings, teenagers obtain profound insight into their dream jobs which are about undiscovered sides and challenges.
For example
Linking Words
, even today's universities frequently conduct projects that relate to their students' profession in order to present them with unseen aspects of their future careers.
Hence
Linking Words
, the training
courses
Use synonyms
 succeed in proving their ability to show young
people
Use synonyms
 what is authentically going on in their jobs. Another benefit
that is
Linking Words
 worth considering is helping the takers acquire social relations during their
courses
Use synonyms
. Simply put,
while
Linking Words
 adopting the training
courses
Use synonyms
,
people
Use synonyms
 may bond and socialize with others; in general,
this
Linking Words
 brings some opportunities for individuals to meet and learn from those who are more prominent and knowledgeable than them. For illustration, Netflix, where the new usually gets chances to meet senior managers, so that the relationship between they are actually wide and unbreakable.
Therefore
Linking Words
, young bodies can probably expand their connections throughout these workplace trainings.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there is a vivid disadvantage that should not be skipped is the lack of depth in terms of knowledge. In fact, despite the training at the workplace can give
people
Use synonyms
 a realistic experience, there would not be enough
overall
Linking Words
 information about their occupations, which may mislead
people
Use synonyms
 about the authentic requirements of work. For evidence, it is difficult to find a company where they do not need professionals.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 may be true but it actually depends on particular situations because there are fields that do not demand your degrees,
such
Linking Words
 as entertainment or content creation. In conclusion,
this
Linking Words
 trend brings beneficial points which are practicality in works and a wide range of relationships, despite displaying drawbacks, namely lacking important knowledge. Ultimately, I believe its advantages outweigh the disadvantages.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence and cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea that fully relates to the question.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your points, making them stronger.
task achievement
Clarify your ideas in the introduction; state both sides more clearly.
task achievement
Good use of relevant points to discuss advantages and disadvantages.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with introduction, body, and conclusion.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • work-based training
  • enrol
  • university
  • advantages
  • disadvantages
  • practical skills
  • experience
  • workforce
  • employment
  • earnings
  • opportunities
  • further education
  • theoretical knowledge
  • career options
  • exploitation
  • balance
What to do next:
Look at other essays: