In the modern world, it is no longer necessary to use animal as food or to use animal products for, for example, clothing and medicines. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#world #food #products #medicines

It is argued that animal products are no longer a necessity for people since there are many organic alternatives available. I completely disagree with

this

statement because I think animal products are essential for our foods, clothes, and medication. Animal meat contains many healthy nutritional macros that are necessary for human development. For humans, the consumption of meat is particularly important since it contains a huge proportion of proteins.

Protien

Correct your spelling

Protein

is crucial for building and maintaining the muscles of the body; without it, a person would become skinny and weak.

For instance

, bodybuilders extensively consume chicken meat to build muscular physiques because it contains a significant proportion of protein.

Furthermore

, it

also

contains several vital vitamins and minerals like B1, B2, B12, and iron, which are necessary for our blood and other bodily functions. Skin and fur are

also

valuable products for people living in colder regions. Many animals, which are used for producing food,

also

provide us with clothing materials. These materials are used in the manufacturing of warm jackets and sweaters, which are crucial for people to survive in places where temperatures fall below zero °C.

Moreover

, there are no plant-based replacements for providing the level of insulation from cold,

such

as cotton, which fails to keep the body warm.

For example

, the Finland government imported 500 billion dollars worth of warm clothes for the 2025 winter since harsh winter months are expected. In conclusion, I believe that the use of animals for our domestic needs is crucial because we don't have the appropriate replacements available.

Submitted by shahroz99dev on Tue Jul 30 2024

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conclusion

Strengthen your conclusion by summarizing the key points made in your essay more explicitly. This can help reinforce your argument and leave a lasting impact on the reader.

general

Avoid minor grammatical errors and typos. For example, ensure words like 'protein' are spelled correctly. Minor mistakes can affect the reader's perception of your overall proficiency.

examples

While you have provided specific examples, make sure that they directly support your argument and are clearly explained. For instance, it would be beneficial to elaborate a bit more on why plant-based clothing materials might not be as effective as animal-based ones.

structure

Varying your sentence structure can make your essay more engaging. Try to mix different types of sentences (simple, compound, complex) to enhance the flow of your writing.

organization

You have a well-organized structure, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This enhances the readability of your essay.

examples

You provide relevant and specific examples to support your arguments, such as the use of animal products for nutrition and clothing in colder regions.

focus

Your essay stays focused on the topic and presents a clear viewpoint. This demonstrates a good understanding of the task.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

258 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In the modern world, it is no longer necessary to use animal as food or to use animal products for, for example, clothing and medicines. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many offenders commit more crime after serving their first punishment. Why are this happening, and what measures can be taken to tackle this problem?

The values we gain from our parents and family have more influence over our future success than any skills or knowledge learned in school. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The tourism industry has grown enormously over the last fifty years, and there are few places which are unaffected by it. However, tourism rarely benefits the countries which tourists visit. To what extent do you agree or disagree?