IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

In recent years, there has been a considerable rise in crimes committed by the young in cities. What has caused this? What solutions can you suggest?

In recent years, the number of crimes committed by young
people
Use synonyms
 in urban areas has significantly increased.
This
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 worrying trend can be attributed to various social and family-related factors. In
this
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 essay, I will explore the key causes behind
youth
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crime
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 and suggest possible solutions to address
this
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 issue. One major reason for the rise in
youth
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crime
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 is a lack of proper parental guidance.
Parents
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 play a crucial role in shaping their children’s values and
behavior
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behaviour
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 from an early age. When
parents
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 fail to
instill
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instil
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 discipline, set boundaries, or offer emotional support, children are more likely to engage in rebellious or illegal activities. In many cases, young
people
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 grow up in households where there is little supervision, poor communication, or even neglect.
As a result
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, they may seek attention and
belonging
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belong
show examples
elsewhere
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 — sometimes by joining gangs or engaging in criminal acts. To address
this
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 problem, it is essential that
parents
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 take a more active role in their children’s upbringing. They should teach their children the difference between right and wrong, listen to their problems, and create a supportive environment at home.
Additionally
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, schools and community organizations can support families by offering parenting workshops,
counseling
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counselling
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, and after-school programs to keep young
people
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 engaged in positive activities. When children grow up in a stable and caring environment, they are less likely to turn to
crime
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. In conclusion, the increase in
youth
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crime
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 is largely the result of weak family structures and poor parental involvement. If
parents
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, schools, and communities work together to support and guide young
people
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, the rate of
youth
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crime
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 can be significantly reduced.

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task achievement
Make sure to give more specific examples to support your points, such as statistics or real-life cases.
coherence and cohesion
Use transition words between ideas to make your writing flow better and easier to follow.
structure
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, with a good overview of the topic.
content
Your main point about parental guidance is strong and easy to understand.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Breakdown of family structures
  • Peer pressure
  • Socioeconomic factors
  • Exposure to violence
  • Lack of recreational facilities
  • Mental health issues
  • Substance abuse
  • Weak law enforcement
  • Single-parent families
  • Parental supervision
  • Illegal activities
  • Social acceptance
  • Poverty
  • Unemployment
  • Lack of education
  • Violent neighborhoods
  • Violent media
  • Recreational options
  • Idle time
  • Impulsive behaviors
  • Aggressive behaviors
  • Insufficient policing
  • Legal consequences
  • Deter
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