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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people believe that math success depends on good teacher; others think that it depends on student’s talent. Discuss both the views and give your opinion.

#people #math #success #teacher #student’s #talent
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All the
students
 must be wanted to be the most outstanding student in their school. Some believe that a good
teacher
 is the number one factor in their
success
. On the opposite, some believe that the cleverness and
talent
 of
students
 are the first things that will bring them to
success
, specifically in
math
. In my opinion, both factors, either the
teacher
's quality or the student's
talent
 equally support the
success
 of most outstanding
students
. Combining
teachers
' knowledge from years of experience and the
students
'
talent
, will boost the
success
 of
students
.
First,
teacher
 taught their
students
 based on their best knowledge and
talent
 in
math
 which they got from years of studying and years of teaching.
Thus
, it will affect the
way
 of their teaching styles. I am pretty sure that they will deliver a
math
 lesson in the easiest
way
 to understand.
For instance
, it is common that if we take a course outside school, the
teacher
 will teach us the fastest and easiest
way
 to answer a typical hard question in
math
.
Thus
,
students
 who take
this
 course will get higher numbers in exams than other
students
.
In addition
, some
teachers
also
 give motivational words at the beginning of class to motivate
students
.
Second,
in my opinion, the
success
 of every student depends on themselves, as
this
 is the number one rule of human lives.
Teachers
 help
students
 understand
math
 lessons in the best
way
,
while
students
 optimise
this
 process of study and develop their
talent
 in
math
 by studying hard and more practice.
For example
,
students
 who get a lesson only from their
teacher
, without any self-studying, will easily forget about everything they got in that class. A person's
talent
 can be developed by tough and diligent things.
As well as
,
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apply
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 they optimize their brain to achieve goals.
To sum up
, both good
teachers
 and
students
'
talent
 equally contributed to the
success
 of
students
 in
math
.
Therefore
, both good
teachers
 and
students
 were the number one factor in gaining the best results in
math
.
Submitted by putri on

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coherence cohesion
Work on refining your logical structure a bit more. While the essay follows a clear progression, there are areas where transitions between ideas could be smoother. Try to make each paragraph connect more seamlessly to the next.
task achievement
Incorporate more specific examples to support your points. While you provide general scenarios such as courses outside school, including more concrete and varied examples would strengthen your arguments.
task achievement
Ensure that your ideas are presented in a comprehensive manner. Some points could be more clearly articulated; focus on developing them with enough detail.
coherence cohesion
The essay provides a balanced discussion, illustrating both sides of the argument regarding the influence of teachers and student talent.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-structured, framing your essay nicely.
task achievement
The argument that both teachers and student effort are crucial is sound and is presented logically.
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