IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people believe that math success depends on good teacher; others think that it depends on student’s talent. Discuss both the views and give your opinion.

#people #math #success #teacher #student’s #talent
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
All the
students
Use synonyms
 must be wanted to be the most outstanding student in their school. Some believe that a good
teacher
Use synonyms
 is the number one factor in their
success
Use synonyms
. On the opposite, some believe that the cleverness and
talent
Use synonyms
 of
students
Use synonyms
 are the first things that will bring them to
success
Use synonyms
, specifically in
math
Use synonyms
. In my opinion, both factors, either the
teacher
Use synonyms
's quality or the student's
talent
Use synonyms
 equally support the
success
Use synonyms
 of most outstanding
students
Use synonyms
. Combining
teachers
Use synonyms
' knowledge from years of experience and the
students
Use synonyms
'
talent
Use synonyms
, will boost the
success
Use synonyms
 of
students
Use synonyms
.
First,
Linking Words
teacher
Use synonyms
 taught their
students
Use synonyms
 based on their best knowledge and
talent
Use synonyms
 in
math
Use synonyms
 which they got from years of studying and years of teaching.
Thus
Linking Words
, it will affect the
way
Use synonyms
 of their teaching styles. I am pretty sure that they will deliver a
math
Use synonyms
 lesson in the easiest
way
Use synonyms
 to understand.
For instance
Linking Words
, it is common that if we take a course outside school, the
teacher
Use synonyms
 will teach us the fastest and easiest
way
Use synonyms
 to answer a typical hard question in
math
Use synonyms
.
Thus
Linking Words
,
students
Use synonyms
 who take
this
Linking Words
 course will get higher numbers in exams than other
students
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
, some
teachers
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 give motivational words at the beginning of class to motivate
students
Use synonyms
.
Second,
Linking Words
in my opinion, the
success
Use synonyms
 of every student depends on themselves, as
this
Linking Words
 is the number one rule of human lives.
Teachers
Use synonyms
 help
students
Use synonyms
 understand
math
Use synonyms
 lessons in the best
way
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
students
Use synonyms
 optimise
this
Linking Words
 process of study and develop their
talent
Use synonyms
 in
math
Use synonyms
 by studying hard and more practice.
For example
Linking Words
,
students
Use synonyms
 who get a lesson only from their
teacher
Use synonyms
, without any self-studying, will easily forget about everything they got in that class. A person's
talent
Use synonyms
 can be developed by tough and diligent things.
As well as
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 they optimize their brain to achieve goals.
To sum up
Linking Words
, both good
teachers
Use synonyms
 and
students
Use synonyms
'
talent
Use synonyms
 equally contributed to the
success
Use synonyms
 of
students
Use synonyms
 in
math
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, both good
teachers
Use synonyms
 and
students
Use synonyms
 were the number one factor in gaining the best results in
math
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by putri on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Work on refining your logical structure a bit more. While the essay follows a clear progression, there are areas where transitions between ideas could be smoother. Try to make each paragraph connect more seamlessly to the next.
task achievement
Incorporate more specific examples to support your points. While you provide general scenarios such as courses outside school, including more concrete and varied examples would strengthen your arguments.
task achievement
Ensure that your ideas are presented in a comprehensive manner. Some points could be more clearly articulated; focus on developing them with enough detail.
coherence cohesion
The essay provides a balanced discussion, illustrating both sides of the argument regarding the influence of teachers and student talent.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-structured, framing your essay nicely.
task achievement
The argument that both teachers and student effort are crucial is sound and is presented logically.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: