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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people believe that math success depends on good teacher; others think that it depends on student’s talent. Discuss both the views and give your opinion.

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All the
students
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 must be wanted to be the most outstanding student in their school. Some believe that a good
teacher
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 is the number one factor in their
success
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. On the opposite, some believe that the cleverness and
talent
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 of
students
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 are the first things that will bring them to
success
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, specifically in
math
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. In my opinion, both factors, either the
teacher
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's quality or the student's
talent
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 equally support the
success
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 of most outstanding
students
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. Combining
teachers
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' knowledge from years of experience and the
students
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'
talent
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, will boost the
success
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 of
students
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.
First,
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teacher
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 taught their
students
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 based on their best knowledge and
talent
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 in
math
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 which they got from years of studying and years of teaching.
Thus
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, it will affect the
way
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 of their teaching styles. I am pretty sure that they will deliver a
math
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 lesson in the easiest
way
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 to understand.
For instance
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, it is common that if we take a course outside school, the
teacher
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 will teach us the fastest and easiest
way
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 to answer a typical hard question in
math
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.
Thus
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,
students
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 who take
this
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 course will get higher numbers in exams than other
students
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.
In addition
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, some
teachers
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also
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 give motivational words at the beginning of class to motivate
students
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.
Second,
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in my opinion, the
success
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 of every student depends on themselves, as
this
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 is the number one rule of human lives.
Teachers
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 help
students
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 understand
math
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 lessons in the best
way
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,
while
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students
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 optimise
this
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 process of study and develop their
talent
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 in
math
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 by studying hard and more practice.
For example
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,
students
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 who get a lesson only from their
teacher
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, without any self-studying, will easily forget about everything they got in that class. A person's
talent
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 can be developed by tough and diligent things.
As well as
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,
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apply
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 they optimize their brain to achieve goals.
To sum up
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, both good
teachers
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 and
students
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'
talent
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 equally contributed to the
success
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 of
students
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 in
math
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.
Therefore
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, both good
teachers
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 and
students
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 were the number one factor in gaining the best results in
math
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.

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coherence cohesion
Work on refining your logical structure a bit more. While the essay follows a clear progression, there are areas where transitions between ideas could be smoother. Try to make each paragraph connect more seamlessly to the next.
task achievement
Incorporate more specific examples to support your points. While you provide general scenarios such as courses outside school, including more concrete and varied examples would strengthen your arguments.
task achievement
Ensure that your ideas are presented in a comprehensive manner. Some points could be more clearly articulated; focus on developing them with enough detail.
coherence cohesion
The essay provides a balanced discussion, illustrating both sides of the argument regarding the influence of teachers and student talent.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-structured, framing your essay nicely.
task achievement
The argument that both teachers and student effort are crucial is sound and is presented logically.
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