IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In some countries, young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.

In most countries,
children
Use synonyms
 are motivated to take a gap year before they enrol in a tertiary education system. Factors
such
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 as
,
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apply
show examples
 discovering what they really want to do and experiencing the hardships of the adult
world
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 tend to be the advantages,
whereas
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 the financial implications and demotivated
students
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 returning from their trip become the major disadvantages
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
this
Linking Words
 ideology.
Students
Use synonyms
 find who they are and what to pursue in the
future
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 the best during times of hardship and solitary.
Children
Use synonyms
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 are going on
trips
Use synonyms
 by themselves experience a new perception of the
world
Use synonyms
 causing them to change direction in
future
Use synonyms
 studies.
Additionally
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, during these
trips
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, these
students
Use synonyms
 find themselves working with strict budgets.
For example
Linking Words
, during a gap year
children
Use synonyms
 tend to turn away from
proffesional
Correct your spelling
professional
 degrees and change to
humanitary
Correct your spelling
humanity
 studies,
due to
Linking Words
 seeing first-hand social issues in the
world
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,
thus
Linking Words
 making them more
money wise
Add a hyphen
money-wise
show examples
 and responsible when working with their own money.
However
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, these
trips
Use synonyms
 can cost a fortune and
children
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 tend to become lazy.
Accomodation
Correct your spelling
Accommodation
, transport, food and
utilitys
Correct your spelling
utilities
 are all part of
expenses
Correct article usage
the expenses
show examples
 that must be paid during
this
Linking Words
 journey and causing a comfort zone for many
children
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.
For instance
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, a
12 month
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12-month
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 trip can cost over $
20 000
Correct your spelling
20,000
 yearly,
thus
Linking Words
 becoming very costly for financers. The form of lifestyle
also
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make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
 some
students
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comfortable
Correct your spelling
uncomfortable
show examples
 and not willing to study when they return home. In conclusion, a new
world
Use synonyms
 perception
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
 their
future
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 and the possibility of becoming responsible
future
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 adults are the most promising results of taking a gap year,
while
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 the funding of these
trips
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 and the chances of returning demotivated to do any type of studies are
amongst
Change preposition
among
show examples
 the biggest disadvantages.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure to include clear topic sentences in each paragraph to guide the reader.
task achievement
Use more specific examples to support your points. This will make your argument stronger.
coherence and cohesion
Proofread your work to catch spelling and grammar mistakes, which can distract from your message.
task achievement
You present both advantages and disadvantages clearly, which is good for task response.
coherence and cohesion
The conclusion summarizes your main points well, showing a good understanding of the structure needed.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cultural immersion
  • Life experience
  • Work ethic
  • Career readiness
  • Self-discovery
  • Delayed gratification
  • Intellectual stagnation
  • Financial implications
  • Social dynamics
  • Academic trajectory
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