IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Tourism is one of the fastest growing industries and contributes a great deal to economies around the world. However, the damage tourism can cause to local cultures and the environment is often ignored. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Accepting more and more tourists from overseas is often considered to be one of the most effective ways for industries to develop a
further
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 economy.
Nevertheless
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, it is true that some people do not recognise the fact that
this
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 phenomenon actually negatively affects local cultures and the environment. I totally agree with
this
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 viewpoint because some nations tend to focus only on their own economic growth and because it is more reasonable for some countries as their currencies are superior to others.
To begin
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 with, there are some nations that hope to experience economic progress especially after some tragedies, leading them to focus only on the financial benefit. Italy is a good example to illustrate how the prosperity of tourism industries caused some serious problems for local areas. Since Italy has a large number of world heritages after the pandemic COVID, an increasing number of people visit Italy to see
the
Change the word
its
show examples
heritages
Fix the agreement mistake
heritage
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, resulting in creating a mountain of trash on the street as holidaymakers often dump trash without courtesy.
Furthermore
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, in today’s world, for a certain number of people, it is much less difficult to make a trip to foreign nations because of the disparity in the value of currencies.
For instance
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,
according to
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 the NHK News, the Japanese economy has improved a lot and there was a 10% increase in their national income,
however
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, simultaneously, there was a rise of local residents who have begun to suffer from noise pollution even at night
due to
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 a deluge of travellers enjoying a night market in Kyoto and Tokyo. In conclusion, it is beneficial for countries to utilize tourism as a way to flourish their economies worldwide with some drawbacks
such
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 as harming local cultures and the environment. I completely agree with
this
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 statement because of the concentration only on economic growth and the deferring value of currencies.

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task achievement
Make sure to clearly present both sides of the argument, even if you mostly agree. This will give a better overview of the topic and show your understanding of it.
coherence and cohesion
Try to enhance the flow of your ideas by using more linking words, like 'however', 'in addition', and 'therefore', to improve your logical structure.
task achievement
Provide more balanced examples to support your argument and show a wider range of impacts caused by tourism, not only negative but also some positive aspects.
task achievement
You have a clear opinion and present your viewpoint well in the introduction and conclusion, showing a solid understanding of the topic.
task achievement
The essay includes relevant examples that illustrate your points, which helps in demonstrating your understanding of the negative effects of tourism.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Economic growth
  • Cultural dilution
  • Environmental degradation
  • Responsible tourism
  • Ecotourism
  • Cultural conservation
  • Habitat destruction
  • Sustainable practices
  • Cultural exchange
  • Commercialization of cultural sites
  • Cultural heritage
  • Local ecosystems
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