IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think restoring old buildings requires too much government funding, and it would be more beneficial to invest in new infrastructure. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In the
last
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 decade, many people widely have debated about old and novel
buildings
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. Some people agree that repairing old infrastructure requires a lot of funds from the government,
however
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, others argue that it is advantageous to invest in new
buildings
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. Personally, I believe that restoring old
buildings
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 can be beneficial because they offer many advantages. One of the major benefits of old
buildings
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 is that they may carry significant historical and cultural value. Restoring them can be highly valued as they can attract tourists to the country. In the USA, there are thousands of old infrastructures,
for instance
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, the government spends billions of dollars to repair them.
Consequently
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, they play a crucial role when attracting visitors to America. Another advantage of restoring old
buildings
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 is their reliability. Since they were built with wood and brick, they could be stronger than new infrastructure. Investing in them,
for example
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, can be lifelong so it is extremely beneficial to allocate money for them. If a government allocates its funds for strong old
buildings
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, it will
last
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 long and it can be a great investment. When it comes to new
buildings
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although
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 they may be modern and techy there will be an issue related to quality. These days, many infrastructures are built out of insulated walls and solar energy. Most of the time their purpose,
for example
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, could be offices and businesses.
Therefore
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, they are used for daily usage not carry any significant value. In conclusion,
this
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 essay discussed the benefits of repairing an old building even though it costs a lot. In my opinion, not only for historical or cultural value but
also
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 for reliability it is essential to invest in them.

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task achievement
Your introduction clearly states your opinion, but try to make your thesis statement stronger by clearly listing your main points.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the connection between your ideas by using more linking words, like 'firstly,' 'to add,' or 'finally.' This will help the reader follow your argument better.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are hard to understand. Try to make your points clearer by rephrasing them and using simpler structures.
task achievement
You have a clear opinion stated in your introduction, which is good for task response.
task achievement
You included some good examples of historical value and reliability of old buildings, showing you understand the topic.
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