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Writing Samples
Band 5

A lot of places in the world rely on tourism as a main source of income. Unfortunately, tourism can also be a source of problems if it is not well-managed. What are the advantages and disadvantaged of tourism in the modern world?

Many countries around the world depend on inviting
tourists
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 to earn revenue.
However
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, having unsupervised travelling can bring
in
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apply
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many difficulties and challenges.
Thus
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, there are both benefits and disadvantages to having many foreign visitors nowadays. On
one
Correct article usage
the one
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 hand, Having more frequent travel can bring about job opportunities for the local community and expand one's general knowledge about different cultures. When
tourists
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 visit a country, it is inevitable that they will spend money on souvenirs, food and accommodations.
Therefore
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, these businesses catered to tourism will generate large amounts of income and profit, leading to an expansion of the company, thereby creating more job vacancies for unemployed members of the community.
Moreover
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, visiting countries and learning about the traditions and history of the area can enrich an individual, and enhance communication skills between people of different cultures due
broadened
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to broadened
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prospective
Correct your spelling
perspective
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 and increased understanding.
For instance
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, when foreign dignitaries visit for conferences, they are required to interact with individuals from different countries.
Therefore
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, it is important to know about other cultures and not offend others
due to
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 one's own ignorance.
On the other hand
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, an increase in travel can not only affect the environment negatively
,
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apply
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 but
also
Linking Words
 certain populations of the nation.
Due to
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 the rise in tourism, the demand for aircraft increased, which in turn increases the use and burning of fuel released into the atmosphere, contributing to global warming.
Furthermore
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, a large number of
tourists
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 cannot be entirely managed in a foreign country, and certain behaviours can offend the local community.
For example
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, well-known universities in Singapore
such
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 as the National University of Singapore and Nanyang Technological University are popular destinations for travellers to visit.
However
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, visitors are known to trespass into areas of the campus which are only meant for students, affecting the students. many students have
also
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 reported these issues, stating how unfair it is, as they had to pay a large amount of money to be able to access these areas for their revision, but
tourists
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 are able to sneak in for free. In conclusion, the travel industry has positive effects on the economy, but adverse effects on the environment. Though there are negative aspects to tourism, I believe that authorities utilising economic growth effectively can benefit the citizens of the nation.

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Task Response
Your introduction clearly states the topic and your overall opinion on tourism. Try to make a stronger connection between the advantages and disadvantages in your conclusion.
Coherence and Cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea. Sometimes the connection between ideas felt weak. Using clearer topic sentences can help.
Task Response
Include more clear examples to support your points, as this will strengthen your arguments throughout the essay.
Task Response
You explained both the advantages and disadvantages of tourism, which is good for answering the question.
Task Response
Your vocabulary is generally appropriate and you have used some relevant examples to illustrate your points.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • sustainable tourism
  • ecotourism
  • heritage sites
  • hospitality industry
  • tourist influx
  • cultural commodification
  • ecological footprint
  • economic diversification
  • carrying capacity
  • cultural sensitivity
  • destination marketing
  • travel advisories
  • visitor management
  • impact assessment
  • tourism revenues
  • authentic experience
  • visitor satisfaction
  • conservation efforts
  • seasonal fluctuation
  • social sustainability
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