Today there is increasing concern over environmental problems. While some people believe taht they must be solved on a domestic level, others think that only through international cooperation can environment issues be dealt with. Discuss both views and give yoru opinion.

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Environmental issues have become widespread concern about its threat.

While

some people believe that

this

problem ought to be tackled internationally, others argue that environmental degradation is the responsibility of the country itself. Both of the aforementioned perspectives will be discussed in the following paragraphs alongside the reasons behind them. On the one hand, some people believe that the best way to overcome environmental challenges is a global contribution effort. The most common argument is that there are huge problems which need to join hands from a wide range of

countries

such

as global warming, and pollution.

Additionally

, regions can share knowledge, ideals,

as well as

technology to face environmental challenges.

For example

, the Mekong Delta River flows through a host of

countries

from China, Myanmar, Laos and Vietnam.

This

is a reason why individual nations do not have the ability to solve river contamination.

On the other hand

, I believe that each country should deal with the deterioration of environmental quality by its capacity.

This

due to

the argument that individual

countries

experience different circumstances

such

as pollution levels, and financial situations. Economic prosperity in developed

countries

has allowed them to invest more budget for renewable

energy

, and nuclear

energy

, but developing

countries

suffer from financial barriers.

For instance

, America developed sustainable

energy

sources and green technology 30 years ago

as well as

mobilised solar and wind

energy

for daily life.

However

, Vietnam which is a Third World nation, is not affordable to investigate for

this

. Fossil fuel in Vietnam still plays an integral role in promoting the economy. In conclusion, despite the value of international cooperation, these benefits can deal with general problems and shared knowledge, and technology for other

countries

However

, in my view, the government in each country should make policies to protect the environment.

Submitted by midden-02.tore on Fri Sep 20 2024

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Coherence and Cohesion

Work on improving the logical transition between your points to make the structure even more coherent. For instance, better linking your ideas within the paragraphs would improve the overall flow of your essay.

Task Response

You should aim to use more specific and varied examples to strengthen your arguments. This will add depth to your discussion and make your points more convincing.

Introduction

Your introduction effectively presents both viewpoints and sets up the discussion clearly.

Conclusion

The conclusion effectively summarizes your points and provides your opinion on the matter, contributing to the essay's effectiveness.

Main Points

You have successfully supported your main points with relevant arguments and provided context for those arguments with examples, which strengthens your essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

300 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Today there is increasing concern over environmental problems. While some people believe taht they must be solved on a domestic level, others think that only through international cooperation can environment issues be dealt with. Discuss both views and give yoru opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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