IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people think that schools are merely turning students into a good citizens and workers, rather than benefiting them as individuals. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

There is no denying the fact that more and more people believe that nowadays
education
Use synonyms
 turning students into a good citizen and workers,
While
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 it is a commonly held belief an argument opposes it, In
this
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 essay, I will analyse the topic from both views and express my own opinion. On the one hand,
education
Use synonyms
 is one of the most important things should learn in life,
In addition
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, If you don't have an
education
Use synonyms
 degree it will be impossible to get a job,
Moreover
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, to be a good worker has to have more and more experience's, the first question you will ask in your interview is how much experiences do you have?.
For instance
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, there is a study published by New York University in 2008 concluded that 89% of people who have an
education
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 degree, are good workers,
In other words
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,being beneficial in anything requires a lot, Of time, energy, and more. Ultimately, every issue has multiple sides, and it is important to carefully consider both the advantages and disadvantages before reaching a final judgment. Different people may have different priorities depending on their backgrounds, values, or personal experiences.
Consequently
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,
although
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 a universally ideal solution may be difficult to achieve, making balanced, well-informed decisions based on critical thinking and long-term impact can help address key concerns in a fair, practical, and sustainable way. In conclusion, there is no easy answer to
this
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 question. On balance, despite society having different views I believe that school and college help students to be good workers

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task achievement
Ensure you clearly state your position in the introduction and summarize your findings in the conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words and phrases to improve the flow of ideas between sentences and paragraphs (e.g., 'on the contrary', 'for example').
task achievement
Expand on your examples and arguments to provide more details and depth. For instance, explain how education benefits individuals beyond just work preparation.
coherence and cohesion
Correct grammatical errors, such as the placement of commas and structural issues with sentences, to enhance readability.
content
You present both sides of the argument, showing an understanding of the topic and encouraging critical thinking.
structure
Your conclusion attempts to encapsulate your view on the topic, which is a good practice to wrap up the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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