Nowadays, some celebrities such as film stars, sportsmen and pop musicians are paid too much money. Do you agree or disagree? Which jobs should be highly paid?
In the present times, it has become increasingly common for famous celebrities like actors, musicians and athletes to be paid a much higher sum of
money
. One faction of people
believe that this
is not the right thing while
others are of the view that they deserve this
. I partially agree with the latter argument and at the same time, believe that there are other professions which deserve to be paid highly as well. This
essay will explore these arguments and provide my humble opinion on this
matter.
Looking at the former argument, some people
believe that celebrities do not deserve a high amount of salary. It is due to
the fact that there are a few film stars who display acts of violence and nudity in their movies which promotes crime in society
. Moreover
, some of the actors and sportspersons take part in the advertisement of products which are harmful for
Change the preposition
to
the
Correct article usage
apply
society
such
as tobacco and alcohol products. As a result
, there is a general view in society
that these stars should not be idolised and paid too much money
.
On the other hand
, several people
are of the view that these famous people
deserve a
higher pay because they work hard to bring entertainment to the general public and Remove the article
apply
also
represent their nation on a global scale. This
group believes that only a handful of them encourage activities that have negative effects on the
Correct article usage
apply
society
and most of them are positive, honest and well-behaved humans.
In my opinion, there are other professions like doctors, nurses, teachers and firemen who should have a higher pay structure as they are essential for society
and without them, human civilisation would crumble.
To conclude
, I agree that celebrities should be paid a higher amount of money
but only to a certain extent while
the above-mentioned essential workers should be paid the handsome amount of money
that they deserve.Submitted by komalverma271999 on
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introduction
Ensure the introduction clearly outlines your stance and the main points to be discussed in the essay. This helps set the stage and prepare the reader for your arguments.
relevant specific examples
While your points are clear, adding more specific examples could strengthen your arguments. For instance, mentioning specific celebrities or real-life examples of how doctors and teachers impact society can make your points more convincing.
coherence improvement
Make sure each paragraph transitions smoothly into the next. While your essay has a logical structure, connecting your ideas with transitional phrases would improve coherence.
conclusion
The essay has a clear and concise conclusion that summarizes your viewpoints effectively.
argument balance
You have addressed both sides of the argument, which shows a balanced approach to the topic.
language use
Your language is generally clear and easy to understand. The vocabulary and sentence structures are appropriate for the topic.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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