Some countries have legal ages at which people can drink. Other countries believe not have strict laws is a better policy. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.
There
are
a proportion of countries that enforce a legal age requirement for the consumption of alcohol, whilst other nations negate the use of Correct subject-verb agreement
is
such
laws
. In this
essay
I will discuss why I agree with the notion of having a set age for drinking and form a conclusion.
Add a comma
essay,
Firstly
, alcohol can have detrimental effects on the body and is classified as an addictive substance. Repeated and recreational use of this
fluid has an adverse effect on the liver and brain. Furthermore
, underage drinking promotes addictive behaviours from an earlier stage with many youths also
turning to recreational drugs as a way of coping with adolescence. For instance
, examinations may encourage regular drinking as a coping mechanism causing an increased likelihood of dependency. Secondly
, alcohol and responsibility are interlinked and one must be emotionally mature to handle such
a substance. For example
, governmental laws
in most countries permit the use of driving after 18. This
means that,
people who are abusing from a young age will most likely be involved with other reckless activity, Remove the comma
apply
such
as driving. Not only does this
put innocent lives at risk but also
their own.
On the other hand
, a more relaxed approach encourages awareness and is likely to decrease curiosity. Teenagers are rebellious in nature and the active act of keeping something away from them appeals to them more. If the laws
of society are open and allows
teenagers to consume as they please, Change the verb form
allow
then
they are less likely to rebel or be curious about something that is
unattainable to them. Moreover
, as they grow they will have likely grown out of this
party phase and are therefore
more likely to focus on occupations and career avenues.
In conclusion, it is advisable that there are set laws
in place for drinking as underage activity promotes addictive behaviour and dependency.Submitted by abeera2012 on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure a clear, logical progression of ideas throughout the essay. Transition sentences can significantly improve the flow between paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present and mainly well-handled, but the conclusion would benefit from a more developed explanation of your own stance.
coherence cohesion
While main points are supported, there could be a more in-depth exploration of considerations on both sides of the argument.
task achievement
Make sure to fully address all parts of the task. This includes discussing both viewpoints and providing your opinion. Your own opinion needs to be clearer and more explicitly stated.
task achievement
Develop more comprehensive ideas with further exploration and explanation. This will strengthen the essay's argument and impact.
task achievement
Include more specific examples to illustrate your points. This concretes the argument and demonstrates an understanding of the topic on a deeper level.