Experts say older people were happier and healthier in past because they did exercise and spent more time with their family and friends , whereas many now suffer from lonliness and health problems . What are the causes of this and reasons

Specialists maintain that in the past, social networks and physical exercise kept old people happy and healthy, but
,
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nowadays, they endure ill health and isolation.
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,
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argue, is because of technological limitations and society's inclination to individualism. The best solutions are to provide them with care
workers
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and educate them on internet
use
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. These and other issues are discussed
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below.
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with, in contemporary society, people are now resorting to online spaces to communicate with their relatives and loved ones.
This
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is because globalisation is enabling us to
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digital technologies to connect without physically meeting. Unfortunately, many elderly individuals are technologically obsolete and
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remain isolated from everyone else.
Likewise
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, a majority of these adults suffer from different illnesses
due to
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a lack of physical exercise. The elderly usually lack the motivation to be mobile or have no one to help them remain active.
For example
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, dementia studies in the 21st century agree that medical conditions in older people are worsened by their immobility. These studies account for older populations in countries
such
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as China and the US. To remedy these challenges, it would be helpful to provide aged care
workers
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to assist the elderly in achieving their mobility goals.
Such
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workers
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would be helpful in motivating and assisting them physically.
Secondly
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, providing the elderly with lessons on how to
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the internet could help them navigate digital and social media spaces to remain connected with others.
For instance
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, the dementia studies mentioned above found that many adults in China are becoming more confident to hang out on Facebook and WhatsApp.
This
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,
according to
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the research, is making them happy again. In conclusion,
therefore
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, it is true that older individuals were much happier back in the day.
This
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is because they lived highly social lives and were very active. Today, individualised lifestyles make it difficult to replicate past lives.
However
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, teaching them technological
use
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and providing them with support
workers
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could help. These are the issues discussed in
this
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essay.

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coherence and cohesion
Your introduction is clear and presents your argument well. However, make sure it shows all main points that you will discuss in the essay.
coherence and cohesion
Your paragraphs are mostly well structured, but try to add more linking words to help the flow between ideas.
task achievement
While your points are relevant, some ideas could be explained in more detail to strengthen your argument. For instance, you mentioned motivation, but you could give more examples of how to motivate older people.
task achievement
You have good examples, but consider using more varied examples to show your ideas clearly. More examples can make your argument stronger.
task achievement
You identify the causes of isolation and health problems clearly, which is a strong point in your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion summarizes the essay well by restating your main points and suggesting solutions.

Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Topic Vocabulary:
  • sedentary lifestyle
  • technological reliance
  • urbanization
  • work-life balance
  • family dynamics
  • lengthy longevity
  • quality of life
  • social isolation
  • digital divide
  • cultural values
  • communal living
  • processed foods
  • dietary changes
  • mental health
  • elderly well-being
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