Some people believe that teaching children at home is best for a child's development. Others think it is important for children to attend school. Discuss the advantages of both views and give your own opinion.

There has been an ongoing debate about whether parents should let children study at
home
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or
school
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. I firmly believe that
although
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both sides offer some benefits, encouraging children to attend
school
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seems more appealing. On the one hand, studying at
school
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may help children gain relevant and advanced
knowledge
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. To clarify,
school
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curricula were carefully designed and censored in order to provide valuable information which is actually helpful and highly academic for
students
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in their study path.
As a result
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,
students
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may be able to access a broader opportunity pool which fosters their personal growth.
For instance
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, science or social subjects -
such
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as literature and math - are well-organized so as to help
students
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collect fundamental
knowledge
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which is highly demanded in their dream jobs.
On the other hand
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,
home
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education may allow
students
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to become flexible in approaching diverse
knowledge
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.
In other words
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, syllabuses and lessons are not restricted to a certain range, so
students
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can be taught about world facts that they would not be covered in
school
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by attending household extracurricular activities. As a direct result, they gain more experience
as well as
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deeper insights into social skills or progress, these are great advantages compared to others.
For example
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, In Japan, a study suggests that individuals who are taught at
home
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perform better than their peers when it comes to realistic and practical tasks. In my opinion, driving young people to go to
school
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is more beneficial, even if education at
home
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shows its merit.
This
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is because if teenagers take part in mainstream schools, the interactions and collaboration between them and their friends or teachers will be promoted.
This
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situation yields a benefit in that it cultivates a more cooperative and innovative environment which makes
students
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become more team-orientated, proactive,
as well as
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inclusive. These qualities help
students
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easily embrace diversity, and
then
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they can be more productive in their work
due to
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interpersonal involvement. In conclusion, both sides some some truth, yet participating in schools delivers substantial benefits which are about encourage
students
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' engagement and trustworthy, advanced
knowledge
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, regardless of practical experience from
home
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education.

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task achievement
Make sure that your introduction includes a clear thesis statement that outlines your main argument.
coherence
Consider linking your ideas more clearly with transition words, so the reader can follow your points better.
task achievement
In your conclusion, summarize the key points and restate your opinion clearly.
content
You present both sides of the argument well, showing a good understanding of the topic.
content
Your examples provide real-world relevance to your points, helping to develop your arguments.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
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