IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Large business have big budgets for marketing and promotic and as a result people garvitate towards buying their products. What problems does this cause? What could be done to encourage people to buy local products?

In today's competitive market, large corporations allocate substantial budgets for marketing and promotion, leading many consumers to gravitate toward their
products
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.
While
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this
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 benefits big
businesses
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, it presents several challenges for local producers.
However
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, various strategies can be employed to encourage
people
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 to support local
products
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instead
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. One major issue caused by the dominance of large
businesses
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 is the decline of small and local enterprises.
Due to
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 aggressive marketing and brand recognition,
people
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 often opt for well-known brands, leaving small
businesses
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 struggling to compete.
As a result
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, many local shops and independent producers face financial difficulties and may eventually shut down, leading to a loss of jobs and economic stagnation within communities.
Additionally
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, when multinational companies dominate the market, product diversity decreases, as small
businesses
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 that offer unique and specialized items are often pushed out. Another concern is the environmental impact of large-scale production and distribution. Global brands often manufacture goods in distant locations and ship them worldwide, increasing carbon footprints.
In contrast
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, locally produced goods typically require less transportation, reducing pollution.
Thus
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, when
people
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favor
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favour
show examples
 multinational companies, they inadvertently contribute to environmental degradation. To encourage consumers to buy local
products
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, governments and communities must take action.
Firstly
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, public awareness campaigns can educate
people
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 about the benefits of purchasing locally, including supporting small
businesses
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, job creation, and environmental sustainability. Social media and influencer endorsements can
also
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 help shift consumer
behavior
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behaviour
show examples
.
Secondly
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, financial incentives
such
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 as tax reductions, subsidies, or grants for local entrepreneurs can make their
products
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 more affordable and competitive. Governments can
also
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 impose stricter regulations on large corporations to ensure fair competition, preventing monopolies from dominating markets.
Lastly
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, promoting farmer’s markets, craft fairs, and locally sourced
products
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 in supermarkets can increase accessibility and visibility. When consumers see local options readily available, they are more likely to choose them over mass-produced alternatives. In conclusion,
while
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 large
businesses
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 attract customers through extensive marketing,
this
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 negatively impacts local industries, economic diversity, and the environment. By raising awareness, providing financial support, and increasing accessibility, communities can encourage
people
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 to buy local
products
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 and create a more balanced marketplace.

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Task Achievement
Ensure each point is clearly backed up with specific examples or evidence.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use more linking words to show connections between your ideas.
Positive Highlight
The introduction presents a clear thesis statement.
Positive Highlight
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main ideas.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • homogenization
  • economic imbalances
  • cultural heritage
  • environmental degradation
  • entrepreneurship
  • awareness campaigns
  • tax rebates
  • sustainable practices
  • local fairs
  • economic concentration
  • collaboration
  • local economy
  • environmental impact
  • innovation
  • job creation
  • mass-marketed goods
  • cultural identity
  • incentives
  • NGOs (Non-Governmental Organizations)
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