IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Eco-tourism often involves visiting remote and fragile ecosystems, which raises concerns about the impact on local cultures and indigenous communities. What problems can this cause? How can these problems be resolved

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Often, eco-tourisms include visiting remote and fragile ecosystems and it is increasing
issues
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 on the impact of local
cultures
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 and native
communities
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. In
this
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 essay, I will explain problems and solutions.
Tourists
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, lacking knowledge about indigenous
communities
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, visiting remote and fragile ecosystems are increasing
issues
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 about the impact on local
cultures
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 and indigenous
communities
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 to destroy local traditions. In recent days, people, specifically,
tourists
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, have it a fashion to pursue areas where unknown and untouched because they want to reveal these
places
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 by posting their social media to make their posts distinguished from others without enough knowledge and respect about local
rules
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,
as a result
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, they are destroying fragile
places
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.
For example
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, in Okinawa, Japan, there are sacred
places
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 destroyed by
tourists
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. These
spots
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 are especially for special prayers to pray for their god on special occasions in rural areas and
spots
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 are banned even for normal locals to enter.
Thus
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, hidden
rules
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 are limited to be announced.
Additionally
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, these
spots
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 often include photogenic views as they are untouched,
although
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issues
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 for these areas increasing as
tourists
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 destroy ancient artefacts by entering the
spots
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 without respect to the locals. Clearly, eco-tourism is harmful, increasing
issues
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 on the impact of local
cultures
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 and native
communities
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. There is a great solution for protecting local
cultures
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 and native
communities
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. As many
tourists
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 have experienced when they visit another country, often they are announced the
rules
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 in what they can bring or do when they enter the countries that they are visiting.
Thus
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, it could be ideal to make similar systems for
tourists
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 who book eco-tourisms.
For instance
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, when
tourists
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 book eco-tourisms, they can
also
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 make a contract and list of
rules
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 to read on how they should behave when visiting these indigenous
places
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 to not harm or destroy fragile things in their
cultures
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 to show their respect.
This
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 solution may work effectively as these movements already work well when
tourists
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 visit other countries. In conclusion, eco-tourism can be harmful to indigenous
communities
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,
although
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 if they make some
rules
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 for
tourists
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 to be aware of their culture,
this
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 issue can be solved in the future.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure a clear and logical order in your essay. Use paragraphs effectively to separate different ideas and use linking words to connect them smoothly.
coherence cohesion
Introduce your essay with a clearer statement of your main argument and conclude it by summarizing your key points and stating the outcome more definitively.
coherence cohesion
Support your main points with more detailed examples and explanations to strengthen your argument. Specific real-life cases or statistics could enhance your argument's credibility.
task achievement
Address all parts of the task more fully. Make sure your response covers the problem and solution aspects of the topic in equal measure, providing a well-rounded view.
task achievement
Articulate your ideas more clearly and comprehensively. Focus on organizing your thoughts and expressing them in a way that is easy to follow. This will help in developing a more compelling argument.
task achievement
Incorporate more relevant and specific examples to support your points. This adds depth to your essay and makes your argument more persuasive.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • fragile ecosystems
  • environmental degradation
  • cultural dilution
  • commodification
  • economic disparities
  • resource strain
  • community involvement
  • empowerment
  • sustainable practices
  • ecological footprint
  • responsible behavior
  • fair distribution
What to do next:
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