IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Now- a – days for many people the internet is replacing regular books. What do you think will happen in further and what is your opinion?

In modern times, social media is a source of replacement for many individuals. I believe that in the future,
this
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 issue will escalate and potentially cause numerous problems, including low
eyesight
Use synonyms
, increased crime rates, and a lack of social connection.
This
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 essay will explain the reasons and opinions in
further
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 paragraphs.
To begin
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, the first and foremost negative effect of the substitution of books by the Internet is low
eyesight
Use synonyms
. To explain, the dangerous rays emitted from mobile screens have a side effect on the eyes and can cause weakened
eyesight
Use synonyms
, resulting in blindness.
For example
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, a survey conducted in Japan has reported that more than 60% of children used glasses
due to
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 weak
eyesight
Use synonyms
, which had been caused by the high use of the internet.
Second,
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a lack of social connection is
also
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 a major reason for the replacement of paper. To explain, because of more screen time, the connection between individuals has been lost,
as a consequence
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, in health issues;
moreover
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, these problems will increase in the future. Moving
further
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, in the future, the crime rate will
also
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 increase; to elaborate,
due to
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 personal life exposure on online platforms, the risk of a security breach and cyber-attack increases.
For instance
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, research conducted by Toronto University states that 50% of criminals gather personal information from apps
such
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 as Instagram, Facebook, and more.
To conclude
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,
although
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 the shifted interest is beneficial for trees because of low paper demand, it can lead to more hazards, which are explained in the previous paragraphs, and I opine that if the situation continues,
then
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 it has the power to destroy the world.

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coherence
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and fully develops it.
cohesion
Provide a clearer connection between ideas to make the text flow better.
task achievement
Make sure to provide more specific examples to back up your points.
task achievement
Improve the development of ideas; each point should explore the topic in detail.
task achievement
You have a clear opinion and outline of the issues you want to discuss.
coherence
The introduction identifies the main ideas for the essay clearly.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • accessibility
  • democratizing education
  • digital formats
  • environmental impact
  • publishing industry
  • tactile experience
  • attention spans
  • augmented reality (AR)
  • virtual reality (VR)
  • innovations
  • vast array
  • resources
  • physical books
  • digital books
  • convenience
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