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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

10 June 2025, The tables below show people's reasons for giving up smoking, and when they intend to give up.

10 June 2025, The tables below show people's reasons for giving up smoking, and when they intend to give up.
The tables present the percentage of
smokers
Use synonyms
 who want to quit smoking, classified by the five reasons and the intended time to give up.
Overall
Linking Words
, present
health
Use synonyms
 problems
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 the least common
reason
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 the most cited
reason
Use synonyms
 was to improve general
health
Use synonyms
. Meanwhile, the proportion of
smokers
Use synonyms
 planning to give up was higher than those who did not, with the largest share planning to do so within the next 6 months. The
most
Fix the agreement mistake
apply
show examples
reason
Use synonyms
 why people want to stop smoking
was
Wrong verb form
is
show examples
 having better
health
Use synonyms
 in general,
stood
Correct pronoun usage
which stood
show examples
 at 71% in total, with 74% of them smoking fewer than 10 per day.
In contrast
Linking Words
, only 10% mentioned suffering from
health
Use synonyms
 problems as their main
reason
Use synonyms
, followed by
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
16% of family pressure aspect. People
also
Linking Words
 wanted to stop because of financial considerations, accounting for 31%,
while
Linking Words
 25% said to avoid smoking-related illness. Regarding the intended time, the proportion of
smokers
Use synonyms
 planning to give up within the next month cited
12
Change preposition
as 12
show examples
%,
made
Wrong verb form
making
show examples
 up the smallest rate among other plans. There were only 8% and 9% of them said smoked daily with 20+ and 10-19 cigarettes.
By comparison
Linking Words
, 35% planned to quit within the next 6 months, 14%
largest
Replace the word
larger
show examples
 than those who did within the next year.
However
Linking Words
, the proportion of
smokers
Use synonyms
 who intended to give up made up the majority, at just above 70% compared to 29% of
who
Correct pronoun usage
those who
show examples
 did not.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words smokers, health, reason with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "present" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.
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