Some people think that in the modern world we are more dependent on each other, while others think that people have become more independent. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge.

In the modern world, opinions diverge on whether individuals have become more independent or increasingly dependent on others.

While

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advancements in technology and changing lifestyles undoubtedly foster personal autonomy, I believe that interdependence remains more characteristic of contemporary society

due to

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economic, environmental, and social factors. Proponents of greater independence often point to the rise of nuclear families and solo living arrangements. Many young adults now choose to live alone, handling finances and domestic tasks without family support.

Moreover

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, digital innovations—

such

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as online banking, e-commerce, and smart home devices—empower individuals to manage day-to-day needs single-handedly. The emergence of remote work and the gig economy

further

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reduces reliance on traditional employers, granting people the freedom to set their own schedules.

Additionally

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, the booming market for personal development courses reflects a growing emphasis on self-reliance and individual achievement. Collectively, these trends underscore a shift toward autonomy.

Conversely

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, there is a compelling case for increased interdependence. Global supply chains link producers and consumers across continents, making national economies mutually reliant. Addressing transnational challenges like climate change and pandemics requires coordinated international action. In scientific research, multinational collaboration accelerates breakthroughs in medicine and technology. Digital platforms—social media, cloud computing, and online forums—

also

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reinforce global connectivity, enabling rapid information exchange.

For instance

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, it is popular to use SNS, especially Instagram, across most age groups.

Such

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complex problems and systems demand collective effort and shared resources, highlighting our enduring interconnectedness. In conclusion,

although

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modern life has granted individuals greater freedom, the scope and intricacy of today’s challenges demonstrate that interdependence ultimately outweighs independence in the contemporary world.

sincerity79Tue Jun 10 2025

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Task Achievement

Instead of only stating both views, try to explain them a bit more deeply. You can give more examples for each view to make your argument stronger.

Coherence and Cohesion

Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea that relates back to the main topic. This will help the reader follow your argument.

Coherence and Cohesion

Your introduction clearly presents the topic and shows both views, which is a great start.

Task Achievement

You effectively used a wide range of examples, making your arguments more convincing.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

261 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

interdependence
globalization
technological advancements
collective action
digital evolution
minimal reliance
direct interaction
empowered
access to technology
societal expectations
personal choice
leverage

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Some people think that in the modern world we are more dependent on each other, while others think that people have become more independent. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

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Some people think that the best way to improve safety is by reducing the maximum speed limits on vehicles others think there are other better ways. Discuss both sides and give your opinion

In many countries, plastic shopping bags are the main type of rubbish. They cause water and land pollution, so they should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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