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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

6.Nowadays, the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways technology affected the types of relationships people make? Has this become a positive or negative development?

Technology
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 has changed the way
people
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 communicate with each other
as well as
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 the relationships
people
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 make.
This
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 has the biggest impact on the way
people
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 communicate. As we already know, there are several ways in which relationships have been negatively affected by
technology
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, I highly believe that these negative impacts have been increased nowadays.
Technology
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 has significantly impacted
people
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's interactions with others. The majority of
this
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 is that
people
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 these days have more acquaintances than real close friends.
For example
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, many
people
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 have a dozen friends lists on social media like Facebook and Instagram, as it is easier to connect through these websites.
Thus
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,
technology
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 has led to fewer interaction face-to-face among
people
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. Since social media has been developed greatly
people
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 are spending more time online chatting
instead
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 of meeting in person. From my point of view, these changes have had a negative influence on
people
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 in society. First and foremost,
people
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 nowadays feel lonelier as they spend more time with computers rather than with human beings. Experts proved that to remain healthy emotionally
people
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 need face-to-face interaction because lack of communication has made them experience more depression and isolate themselves.
Consequently
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,
people
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 who use
technology
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 to communicate are gradually losing social skills.
Moreover
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, it is common for
people
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 to express themselves during communication online by using emoji icons and other forms that they find online, which leads to reduced use of body language. Or tone of expression.
To sum up
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,
people
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 have fewer close friends and less in-person interaction
due to
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technology
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.
This
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 development is negative as it is easier for
people
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 to feel depressed and become less dept in social skills. I think
people
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 should spend less time on electronic devices in order to improve their relationships with others.

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coherence and cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and flows well to the next.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples and explanations to support your points.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to include a clearer introduction and conclusion.
task achievement
The essay identifies the negative impacts of technology on relationships clearly.
task achievement
There are some good arguments about loneliness and lack of social skills.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • technology
  • interact
  • relationships
  • connectivity
  • communication
  • online
  • face-to-face
  • friendships
  • romantic relationships
  • family dynamics
  • positive
  • negative
  • development
  • effects
  • formation
  • ease
  • impacts
  • communities
  • connect
  • interaction
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