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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some systems require students to specialize in a limited range of subjects from the age of fifteen. Other systems require students to study a wide range of subjects until they leave school. What are the benefits of these two education systems and which is better?

There is no denying the fact that choosing
professional
Correct article usage
a professional
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 career significantly
affect
Correct subject-verb agreement
affects
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student's
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a student's
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 future.
While
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 some
authoraties
Correct your spelling
authorities
 believe that
learners
Use synonyms
 should study a limited
range
Use synonyms
 of subjects starting from 15 years old
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
other systems require them to specialize in a wide
range
Use synonyms
 of subjects. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss both points of view and give mine.
To begin
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 with, some countries think that
youth
Correct your spelling
young
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 individuals should be given the chance to focus on a certain subject in order to facilitate the
selecting
Replace the word
selection
show examples
 process for their professional pathway. Another point to consider, there are many students who are
intrested
Correct your spelling
interested
 in some topics and
educational
Add an article
an educational
show examples
 system like
this
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 allows the student to dive deeply and get more knowledge from a younger age.
For example
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, a sixteen years old girl
is
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who is
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 interested in renewable engineering,
she
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apply
show examples
will be able to specialize and gain more information
for
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in
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 that field,
in addition
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,
learners
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 could attend courses to improve their college acceptance. In terms of learning a vast
range
Use synonyms
 of topics, some
nation
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nations
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 believe that students are not mature enough to select their future career and not aware
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the needs of the job market.
Furthermore
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,
learners
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 should be provided enough time to try different jobs in different sectors.
For instance
Linking Words
, they have the opportunity to work in the summer as part-time jobs with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
collaboration from governments and private companies. In conclusion, despite people having different views, in my opinion, I consider that
learners
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 should be
tought
Correct your spelling
taught
 a wide
range
Use synonyms
 of subjects to enhance their abilities and performance.

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task achievement
Make sure to clearly state your opinion in the introduction and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words or phrases to improve the flow between your ideas.
overall
Double-check your spelling and grammar to enhance clarity.
task achievement
You introduced both sides of the argument well.
task achievement
Your examples are relevant and make your point clearer.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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