Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give it all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Some college
students
have the desire to learn about other subjects in addition
to their main subjects; however
, others aren’t keen on believing that some can do both
, and instead
they should Add a comma
instead,
focus
on their major. In my opinion, I believe that they can do both
, and in this
essay, I will shed light as to why.
On the one hand, students
who are studying at highly respected universities have a higher chance of being motivated. For example
, if two students
are taken into comparison, one studying at Yale while
the other seeks education at an unknown school in the ghettos, the student
studying in the Upper East Side would be more motivated to work hard and take more relevant and irrelevant classes to their major. If the Yale student
is majoring in international relations, they are more likely to take classes involving community service, etc. However
, the student
studying in the poorly funded school will not be motivated to take extra classes, thus
ultimately failing in life and not enjoying their university years fully.
On the other hand
, students
with mental issues who have deficiencies such
as ADHD are more likely to get distracted from their studies
and focus
on more irrelevant subjects, thus
ultimately failing in their selected courses. Thus
, those who suffer from such
deficiencies are best advised to not involve themselves in multi-majors and are not keen on being distracted from their studies
. So, when a student
who has a history of getting unfocused on their studies
wants to do voluntary hours, their advisor would forbid them from doing so.
In conclusion, it is safe to say that, although
it is a good option to focus
on voluntary hours, it is also
very important to focus
on your GPA and overall
score in universities. In my opinion, as a student
myself, I tend to focus
on my volunteering hours more than my studies
; however
, I always have time for both
. Thus
, if students
can concentrate on both
, why not allow them to do both
?Submitted by checkmyessay9 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
introduction
Your introduction clearly lays out the two perspectives and states your opinion. However, it is somewhat lacking in depth. You can improve this by making the thesis statement more specific.
balanced discussion
The essay needs a more balanced discussion. A deeper exploration of the advantages of focusing solely on one’s major is necessary to provide a balanced perspective.
avoid generalizations
Ensure that the essay avoids generalizations and stereotypes. For instance, the comparison between a Yale student and a student from a poorly funded school features assumptions that can be misleading.
formal tone
Try to use a more formal tone and academic language where appropriate. This will enhance the overall quality and persuasiveness of your essay.
structure
The essay has a clear structure, with identifiable introductions and conclusions, which helps guide the reader effectively.
confidence examples handlers
Your argument is presented with confidence and backed up with examples, such as the reference to Yale and mental health issues, which demonstrate an attempt to engage the reader and provide evidence.
Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS
Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!