IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Human activity has had a negative impact on plants and animals.Some people believe that this can not be changed,while others said that several action can solve this problem. Discuss both and give your opinion?

Human activity is
chanaging
Correct your spelling
changing
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
show examples
 in
present
Correct article usage
the present
show examples
 time. Our action affects our climate and
aslo
Correct your spelling
also
 affect plants,
Correct word choice
and tress
show examples
tress
Correct your spelling
trees
show examples
 around us and
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
animals
Use synonyms
 as well.
in
Capitalize word
In
show examples
 my opinion it is impossible to change and stop, because of
increasing
Correct article usage
the increasing
show examples
population
Use synonyms
 in the world. but somewhat we can reduce
Correct article usage
the nagetive
show examples
nagetive
Correct your spelling
negative
 impact towards climate and
amimals
Correct your spelling
animals
.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, increasing in
population
Use synonyms
 is
biggest
Change the article
the biggest
show examples
 issue in the world. Every day in
Correct article usage
the wolrld
show examples
wolrld
Correct your spelling
world
born
Verb problem
the birth
show examples
 and death ratio shows us the born is way
high
Correct word choice
higher
show examples
 than
death
Fix the agreement mistake
deaths
show examples
, so clearly
population
Use synonyms
Add a missing verb
is significanty
show examples
significanty incresing
Correct your spelling
significantly increasing
. Because of
Linking Words
this
Change the determiner
these
show examples
 humans are building new
houes
Correct your spelling
houses
as
Correct word choice
and as
show examples
result
Correct article usage
a result
show examples
citys
Correct your spelling
cities
 are expanding, so we cutting more
tress
Correct your spelling
trees
show examples
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, more
population
Use synonyms
 eating
meat
Use synonyms
 now so they kill
animals
Use synonyms
 and eat them.
For example
Linking Words
, there was
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
research done
from
Change preposition
by
show examples
 UNO that shows,
Use synonyms
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
 of the world is
incresing
Correct your spelling
increasing
 and it will
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
double from now, by mid of the century, as
Correct article usage
a result
show examples
result
Add the preposition
result in
result from
show examples
 our pollution will increase and
weather
Correct article usage
the weather
show examples
 will
go
Verb problem
get
show examples
 worse in future. people can not
completly
Correct your spelling
completely
 solve
this
Linking Words
 problem, but they can reduce the
affect
Replace the word
effect
show examples
 of
this
Linking Words
. In order to solve
this
Linking Words
,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 should take action to control
Use synonyms
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
, as they can create some
rule
Fix the agreement mistake
rules
show examples
 for
country
Add an article
the country
a country
show examples
 to minimise
new born
Correct your spelling
newborns
show examples
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, people can go
vagen
Correct your spelling
vegan
 or vegetarian to save
amimals
Correct your spelling
animals
 life. Eating
meat
Use synonyms
 is not
neccessary
Correct your spelling
necessary
 for humans so they can avoid
this
Linking Words
, as they can find more
option
Fix the agreement mistake
options
show examples
 from
Use synonyms
plant based
Add a hyphen
plant-based
show examples
meat
Use synonyms
 to satisfy
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 craving for
meat
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, there was
reaserch
Correct your spelling
research
 done in Times of
india
Change the capitalization
India
show examples
, which shows more people are moving towards
Use synonyms
plant based
Add a hyphen
plant-based
show examples
 chicken to save
chicken`s
Correct article usage
a chicken`s
show examples
 life and
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
satisfy their craving for
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
. In conclusion, it is not possible to stop human impact on
Use synonyms
plant
Fix the agreement mistake
plants
show examples
 and
animals
Use synonyms
 but with our
efforts
Add a comma
efforts,
show examples
 we can somewhat control
Use synonyms
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
 and by eating
Use synonyms
plant based
Add a hyphen
plant-based
show examples
meat
Use synonyms
 we can save
animals
Use synonyms
 that can
helps
Change the verb form
help
show examples
 our climate.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
The introduction has some ideas, but it needs more clarity on both views. Make sure to present both perspectives clearly.
coherence and cohesion
Link your paragraphs better. Use words like 'firstly', 'next', and 'finally' to help your essay flow.
task response
Provide clearer examples and support your points more fully. This will strengthen your argument and show depth in your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Check your spelling and grammar, because some words are misspelled and affect understanding.
task response
You presented your opinion clearly, which is important in an IELTS essay.
task response
You provided examples from research studies, which adds credibility to your points.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: