IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Should high school students be required to study many different subjects at the same time, or should they study only three or four subjects at a time? Do you agree or disagree?

There is a growing concern about whether scholars are being taught various
subjects
Use synonyms
 or only 3 to 4. The writer of
this
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 essay thinks that it is better to
study
Use synonyms
 3 or 4
subjects
Use synonyms
due to
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 the reduction in stress and the increase in knowledge of
subjects
Use synonyms
 that they learn despite the fact of getting good grades in their
study
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. Remarkably, it is vital to understand that studying lesser
subjects
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 will provide them with more leisure time for them to do activities they want.
In other words
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, pupils can have time for their interests
such
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 as art, music or sports which contributes positively to both their physical and intellectual skills.
Additionally
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,
this
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 will
also
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 make them have many positive emotions and the pressure of studying will be gone.
Therefore
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, they will gain no stress and their
study
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 will be more productive. Another point worth considering is focusing on fewer
subjects
Use synonyms
 can lead to a greater depth of understanding.
This
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 can be understood that
this
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 will make students more proficient in the fields that they are studying.
For instance
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, Most Vietnamese universities fields now require to master 3 to 4
subjects
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 because having a deeper understanding of these
subjects
Use synonyms
 will help students gain extra experience and ideas before applying for jobs related to these fields. In consequence,
this
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 will help them identify their future jobs more easily.
However
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, some claim that studying many
subjects
Use synonyms
 will help pupils to enhance cognitively in all of their skills which boosts their scores in the
study
Use synonyms
.
This
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 statement seems to be true to some extent but studying too much can lead to student burnout or stress, negatively impacting mental health and academic performance.
As a result
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, their
study
Use synonyms
 efficiency will go down. In conclusion,
although
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 learning a lot of
subjects
Use synonyms
 is believed to be a good idea in terms of getting higher scores in their
study
Use synonyms
, there is ample evidence
to conclude
Linking Words
 why studying fewer
subjects
Use synonyms
 offers more benefits because of the lower chance of getting stressed and the improvement in scholars' knowledge in their
subjects
Use synonyms
.
Thus
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, it is better to learn 3 or 4
subjects
Use synonyms
.

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task achievement
Try to make your introduction clearer by stating your main reasons in one sentence.
coherence and cohesion
Use more linking words like 'firstly', 'secondly', and 'finally' to improve structure.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has one main idea that is clearly explained.
task achievement
You provided strong reasons for your opinion, which shows good thinking.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion effectively restates your main point for studying fewer subjects.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • broad knowledge base
  • general education
  • diverse skill sets
  • proficient
  • depth of understanding
  • discover interests and talents
  • future career choices
  • student burnout
  • mental health
  • academic performance
  • well-rounded individuals
  • adaptable
  • approach problems
  • diverse subject load
  • manage time effectively
  • deeper learning outcomes
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