IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Disruptive school students have a negative influence on others. Students who are noising and disobedient should be grouped together and taught separately. Do you agree or disagree? Give reason for your answer and include any relevant example for your own knowledge or experience

It is a commonly held belief that pupils who misbehave should be isolated from the rest of the school and educated in other classes to eradicate their adverse impact on the learning community. In my view, I consider
this
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 approach unrealistic and
such
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 students must be incorporated in the educational journey with their other classmates.
To begin
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 with, it is of paramount importance that pupils wrap their heads around the fact that the globe is not perfect. There are negative examples in all aspects of society.
Therefore
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,
such
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 juveniles must learn self-discipline and acquire decision-making skills when it comes to choosing their paths in life.
This
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 would contribute greatly to building minds that cannot be easily misled by negative behaviour outside educational establishments.
On the other hand
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, peers must understand that unfortunate circumstances are always at play when shaping personalities. The perceptions of bad individuals who disobey orders or cause a threat are the outcomes of living unprevilisge environment.
For instance
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, a child who was brought up in a household whose atmosphere features domestic violence will act negatively in the community to assert dominance and control of unsolved scenarios.
Thus
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, students are required to help out their friends by expressing acceptance and including them in different activities to eliminate disobedience. In conclusion, it might seem reasonable to separate naughty learners to alleviate chaos and reduce undesired consequences in schools.
However
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, merging pupils together has several life lessons that will help the community build immunity against illicit acts in the future.

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task response
Your introduction clearly states your disagreement, which is good. In the future, consider including a brief overview of the main points you will discuss to guide the reader.
coherence and cohesion
To improve coherence, try using more transition words and phrases, such as 'firstly,' 'on the other hand,' and 'finally,' to help the flow of your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
In your body paragraphs, aim to link your sentences more closely to maintain a clearer connection between your ideas. This will help strengthen your arguments.
task achievement
You presented a strong argument against isolation of disruptive students and emphasized the importance of understanding their backgrounds.
task achievement
Your examples, particularly about the impact of a violent household, provide valuable context to your argument.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • disruptive
  • negative influence
  • disobedient
  • grouped together
  • taught separately
  • learning environment
  • motivation
  • focus
  • behavioral management
  • specialized strategies
  • stigma
  • isolating
  • behavior expectations
  • consequences
  • alternative settings
  • engagement
  • motivation
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