IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Foreign tourists abroad should be charged more than local people when visiting the local historical and cultural tourist attractions. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

There is no denying the fact that some individuals believe that foreign
tourists
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 must pay more than local people for tourist
places
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such
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 as historical
culture
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 and tourist
places
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 , in my opinion, I disagree , and I will explain
this
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 below the statement .
To begin
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 with , there is an enormous amount of
tourists
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 who
travel
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 on a low budget and many of them are searching of low priced attractions ,
furthermore
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, it's well known that price attractions can attract travellers and always be crowded and looking forward to going and seeking that place , in fact keeping the prices low can help the economy of the
country
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 ,
for example
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, when I decide to
travel
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 in the certain
country
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 I always looking for the cheapest
attraction
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 there and how many
attraction
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 and
places
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 that I can visit without paying or if I have to pay I pay the minimum amount . What I mean is that
tourists
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 who are travelling on a low budget like me always looking for a fair price for their
travel
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 .
On the other hand
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 ,
secondly
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 ,
Fix the agreement mistake
attractions
show examples
attraction
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 and historical
places
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 it's the key factor in spreading the
culture
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 of the
country
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 ,
due to
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 a lot of
tourists
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 like to visit the local history and attractions and
then
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 be willing to spend money on different
places
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 and similar , what
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 mean is the main reason for travelling to a certain
country
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 is for their
culture
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 and exploring a lot of
places
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 ,
for example
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, I chose to
travel
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 to Italy 2 years ago because
i
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I
show examples
 want to know their
culture
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 and the main
attraction
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 there, in fact raising prices for the main
attraction
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 and historical
places
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 could be abandoned by the tourist and not to know their
culture
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 . In conclusion , raising prices in the main
attraction
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 and historical
places
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 can lead to two results one is it can't attract people who
travel
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 on a low budget and the second thing can prevent the spread of the
country
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's
culture
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.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure your introduction clearly states your opinion on the topic. Use clearer transition words to help with the flow of ideas.
task achievement
Provide more well-developed supporting points for your arguments to strengthen your essay.
task achievement
Your essay includes personal experiences and examples, which is good for supporting your points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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