Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

In the modern world , many aspects of our
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life
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lives
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are connected with the phone. People usually spend hours on that device
and
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, and
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even children are subjected to
this
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.
Parents
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since childhood teach their kids how to use smartphones and other things to make their
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life
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lives
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more advanced. With the advent of technology , new circumstances have
to come
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arisen
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with which people and especially
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parents
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parents,
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need to deal
with
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apply
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nowadays. Clearly , all children are
some
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addicted to some
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kind of addicted to smart
devices
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device
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,
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;
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they can watch movies , play video games or just scroll through social media. Obviously , it becomes a problem because even society creates a term for
such
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kids , they call them “
IPad
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iPad
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Kids”.
Such
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things negatively affect children's emotional state
and
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, and
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they become uncontrollable.
To sum up
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, phones have become a big problem for society because youngsters do not want to go outside anymore , they just want to sit
in
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on
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their phones chatting all day
and
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, and
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now
parents
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try to influence somehow on that
, but
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somehow, but
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it is too late. As far as I am concerned,
this
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may be a negative development for the students. Especially for the young generation that can lose the ability to think
by
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for
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themselves because they constantly use AI and ChatGPT for everything. Psychologists
also
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mentioned that if
parents
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give gadgets to their child from a small age , just to distract them , it may cause serious problems in the future with their focus of attention
and
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, and
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also
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there might be anger issues. There
also
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might be problems with their health , especially
eyes
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their eyes
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because
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, because
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blue screens can cause a dangerous effect on them. Clearly , social media
also
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poses a danger to
the
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apply
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teenagers because the content might be harmful and unhealthy. In conclusion, phones have become an integral part of people’s
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life
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lives
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and
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, and
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it is hard to exclude them from
life
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.
Otherwise
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, there should be some limits for the kids on the Internet so they will not get addicted and
not
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apply
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develop new problems with their health.
Parents
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should be responsible for it and monitor
youngsters
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their youngsters
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until they become teenagers.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea. Try to start each paragraph with a topic sentence that shows what the paragraph will discuss.
task achievement
Add more specific examples to support your arguments. For example, give real-life examples of how phone use affects children.
coherence and cohesion
Check your essay for grammar and punctuation errors. This can help make your writing clearer and easier to understand.
task achievement
You have addressed the topic and shared your opinion clearly.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a logical flow but can be improved by organizing ideas more clearly.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Topic Vocabulary:
  • smartphones
  • usage
  • technology
  • accessibility
  • convenience
  • entertainment
  • gaming
  • social media
  • communication
  • educational resources
  • addiction
  • dependence
  • negative effects
  • physical health
  • mental health
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