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Writing Samples
Band 7

In the future, fewer people will start bands or produce music because they will worry about their music being downloaded from the internet for free. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people believe that the rise of free
music
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 downloads on the internet will discourage individuals from starting bands or producing
music
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 in the future. I strongly agree with
this
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 statement, as the prevalence of illegal
music
Use synonyms
 downloads poses a significant threat to
artists
Use synonyms
' livelihoods and the sustainability of the
music
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 industry. One major concern is that the internet has made it easier for
music
Use synonyms
 to be illegally downloaded or shared without proper compensation to
artists
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. Physical CDs have largely been replaced by digital albums, which are often available on
music
Use synonyms
 streaming platforms.
However
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, many of these platforms,
such
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 as Spotify and YouTube
Music
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, allow users to access
music
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 for free with advertisements.
This
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 free access makes it difficult for
artists
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 to earn sufficient revenue from their work.
Additionally
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, the lack of restrictions on screen or voice recording enables the spread of pirated
music
Use synonyms
,
further
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 reducing the incentive for
artists
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 to produce new material.
While
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 some argue that musicians can generate income through other means,
such
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 as live performances,
this
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 is not a feasible solution for all
artists
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.
For instance
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, globally renowned
artists
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 like Taylor Swift can earn millions from concerts, but smaller or emerging
artists
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 often lack the resources to organize large-scale events.
Furthermore
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, relying solely on live performances is risky, as it limits opportunities for income diversification. Copyright fees from albums and streaming platforms are still critical for sustaining the careers of many musicians. In conclusion,
although
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 live performances can provide an alternative source of income, the widespread availability of free
music
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 on the
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
 significantly reduces the financial viability of
music
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 production.
This
Linking Words
 trend could discourage many individuals from pursuing careers in
music
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, leading to a potential decline in the diversity and quality of
music
Use synonyms
 in the future.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure all your ideas are clearly linked. You did well, but adding more linking words can help.
task achievement
Try to give more specific examples and details to support your points. This will make your arguments stronger.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly states your opinion, which is very good.
coherence and cohesion
The conclusion sums up your ideas well and reflects on the future impact, which is excellent.
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