In some countries, owing a home rather than renting one is very important. *why might this be the case *Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

In many locations, buying a house
instead
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of renting it is crucial.
This
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is because men have a tendency to secure a place for their kids. I firmly think that
this
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is a positive trend because the value of
this
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home will rise in the future.
This
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essay will elaborate on why I advocate for homeowners.
Initially
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, securing a house for the kids is essential. To clarify, when fathers buy apartments, they own the property.
Hence
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, their children will not worry about looking for another place if their dad dies.
Furthermore
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, these tiny boys will not be able to rent a shelter if their father
pass
Change the verb form
passes
show examples
away.
Therefore
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, adults tend to purchase houses.
For example
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, the manager of London Bank said that 67% of husbands took a loan to obtain a home for the sake of securing a roof for their sons.
In addition
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, the cost of
this
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flat will be way higher in 20 years from now.
In other words
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, it is a great investment for the family because it can be sold with tremendous profits.
Moreover
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, the vast majority of fathers think properly about the future.
Thus
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, having a beneficial investment is vital for them.
For instance
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,
according to
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the mayor of Liverpool, he implied that many Villas have been sold at profitable prices.
As a result
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, every owner has received significant amounts of money, which makes the idea of owning homes so attractive.
To sum up
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, ensuring that there will be safe rooms for your children has been an attractive notion for the
last
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decade. It is a good development without any doubts.
Additionally
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,
this
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property will be expensive after 20 years, and
this
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is why people prefer to buy a flat rather than pay the rent.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure to include clear topic sentences for each paragraph to guide the reader.
task achievement
Try to expand on your ideas and examples to make them clearer and deeper.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure the conclusion summarizes the main points effectively.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear opinion on homeownership being a positive trend.
task achievement
Good use of examples to support the argument.
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