Some people think that best way to reduce crime is to sentence long term prison. However, others think that there are alternative way to reduce crime describe both view points discuss your opinion.

Amy Poehler once said: ”Taking risks and making choices is what makes life so exciting”. But there are
sometimes
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times
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when we
cant
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can't
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decide
such
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as who
are my
Verb problem
our
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families
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family
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, where I was born or the body
I
Correct pronoun usage
we
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have and no
boby
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baby
wants
they
Correct pronoun usage
us
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will live a
Use synonyms
crime
Replace the word
criminal
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life.But at some moments of life when you can only choose between
starve
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starving
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to death or stealing people’s property and we can’t hope to explain to them that stealing is bad as they can only wait to
death
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die
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if they won’t become
a
Correct article usage
apply
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criminal
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criminals
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.If they
is
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are
show examples
sentenced long
term
Correct your spelling
long-term
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prison
Use synonyms
, will they regret what they have done or it just
make
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makes
show examples
everything
more
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apply
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worse? Most people think long-term
prison
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can reduce
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crime
Add an article
the crime
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rate
by
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because of
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the harsh environment in the
prison
Use synonyms
and the length of time.They assume that witnessing
criminal
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criminals
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being sentenced long
term
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long-term
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prison
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would make them think carefully before doing it.
This
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will make
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society
more safe
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safer
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and it
also
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keeping
the
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apply
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dangerous
criminal
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criminals
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far from the
community
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.Adding to that, the prisoners will
tends
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tend
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to integrate into society safely and indirectly abatement
crime
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rate. But,
on the other hand
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, someone commented that long-term
prison
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can’t solve the root of the problem.
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Due to some
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Some
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crimes
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
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originated from
the
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apply
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poverty, lack of education or terminal illness.In place of sentencing long-term
prison
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, we can
provides
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provide
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them mental health programs to orientate them to the right path. Another alternative way to reduce
crime
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is
community
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service.
This
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way creates
opportunity
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an opportunity
the opportunity
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for
criminal
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criminals
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to
payback
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pay back
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the society and
learns
Correct subject-verb agreement
learn
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more about the
community
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to seek
for
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apply
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its beauty.It
also
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helps prisoners to integrate into the
community
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and reduce
Use synonyms
crime
Add an article
the crime
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rate.
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At
Change the preposition
In
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the end,
criminal
Add an article
a criminal
the criminal
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could just be a broken, lost soul
among
Change preposition
in
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this
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harsh world. Our duty is to heal them in their own way so that they can live again but
this
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time is better.

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coherence and cohesion
Try to organize your ideas more clearly. Use paragraphs to separate different points.
task achievement
Add more specific examples to support each point you make.
task achievement
Make sure your introduction clearly states your opinion at the end.
idea
You show empathy towards the situation of criminals.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • reduce
  • crime
  • prison
  • sentence
  • idea
  • support
  • believe
  • punishment
  • deterrent
  • community
  • poverty
  • education
  • mental health
  • support
  • program
  • repay
  • society
  • integration
  • offender
  • safety
  • dangerous
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