IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

A healthy person is often described as someone who has a good diet, gets plenty of exercise, and avoids stress. What should people do to stay healthy in your country? OR

It is widely believed that in order to be healthy you have to follow
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 diet, run
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
 at 6 am and drink only
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
water, but is it a happy life? Let's discuss how to be in balance with a healthy and exciting life:) There is no doubt that attention to your physical
conditions
Fix the agreement mistake
condition
show examples
 plays a significant role in our lives.
Major
Correct article usage
The major
show examples
 advantages of
this
Linking Words
 are that you feel better, you are thin, have more energy and you can be more and more productive. In general, I agree that these
simply
Change the word
simple
show examples
 rules are universal for all countries and can be used everywhere for all people.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, I can say that we should not only follow these
fasionable
Correct your spelling
fashionable
 principles about
healthy
Correct article usage
a healthy
show examples
 lifestyle but
also
Linking Words
 hear our inner voice.
For example
Linking Words
, there is a war in Ukraine and sometimes after the massive
bombs
Change the noun form
bomb
show examples
 attacks, you can'
t
Use synonyms
 even work or stay alive. How do you follow
this
Linking Words
 popular routine with matcha in the morning and productivity at 6 am? If I were you, I
would'
Correct your spelling
wouldn't
would
t
Use synonyms
 do it for sure after
such
Linking Words
night
Correct article usage
a night
show examples
. You aren'
t
Use synonyms
 able to avoid
this
Linking Words
 stress so have to put up with that and do what you feel, eat what you want and sleep as much as you need.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 healthy trend can help you to find your own rituals which will
rescure
Correct your spelling
rescue
 you after a tough night or difficult situation.
For example
Linking Words
, when I have
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
hard times, I always try meditation or running.
In addition
Linking Words
, I write
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 diary with my feelings and thoughts and it helps me to keep my head cold.
While
Linking Words
 some people argue that you have to follow
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 healthy lifestyle, I
beileve
Correct your spelling
believe
 that the most important in
this
Linking Words
 case
to
Add a missing verb
is to
show examples
 keep the balance between your needs and requirements of the life. Sometimes you just can'
t
Use synonyms
 avoid the stress and
such
Linking Words
 situations aren'
t
Use synonyms
 innocuous for you,
as a
Linking Words
result
Add a comma
result,
show examples
 we need a lot of patience and empathy
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 ourselves.

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task achievement
Make sure to stay focused on the main question throughout the essay. You started with a general idea about health, but then shifted towards stress and its challenges. Try to link your points back to the question more clearly.
coherence and cohesion
Use clear connections between your ideas. For instance, when you move from one point to another, use linking words like 'firstly,' 'however,' and 'on the other hand' more effectively.
coherence and cohesion
Check for grammatical errors and spelling mistakes. Words like 'fasionable' should be spelled correctly as 'fashionable' to improve the overall quality of your writing.
task achievement
You provided a real-life example discussing the situation in Ukraine, which adds depth to your essay and shows personal insight.
task achievement
Your essay includes personal experiences, such as meditation and writing a diary, which makes your argument relatable and genuine.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • balanced diet
  • physical activity
  • mindfulness
  • chronic diseases
  • health check-ups
  • processed foods
  • mental health
  • nutrients
  • emotional support
  • obesity prevention
  • screenings
  • preventive healthcare
  • supportive social network
  • nutritional education
  • adequate sleep
What to do next:
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