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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The Internet has changed the world today. Many think it is amazing and has improved life while others believe it has caused many problems. Give both advantages and disadvantages of the internet.

he
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The
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 world has drastically changed and that includes technology. Many
people
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 claim that the
internet
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 has changed life for the better. Others believe that it has created some serious problems.
This
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 essay will examine both the advantages and disadvantages of the
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internet
Capitalize word
Internet
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. There are many advantages to the
Internet
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. Using the
internet
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 can help
people
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 in many different ways.
First,
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it can help with research, homework, and learning new facts.
Secondly
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, it benefited and saved many
people
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's lives.
Third,
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it made school life much easier and organized. The
Internet
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 helped doctors to find the cure for life-threatening diseases.
People
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 tend to spend hours surfing the
internet
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 to increase their knowledge
as well as
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 playing games.
Finally
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, it helped
people
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 connect with each other, it made them more social and call each other from a distance.
However
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, there are
also
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 some disadvantages to the
Internet
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. First, the
internet
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 is a huge waste of time.
For example
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, it can make
people
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 stay at home playing video games for hours nonstop. Most of the users of games are especially for kids.
Second,
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it can lead to serious health problems. An example of
this
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 is the back pain, and neck pain that many
people
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 complain about .
Finally
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, identity theft and hacking have created chaos and personal violation problems.
For example
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, professional hackers can steal credit card numbers
as well as
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 violate email addresses. In conclusion, the
internet
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 has multiple advantages. It ranges from entertainment to business and many other benefits.
On the other hand
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, the
internet
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,
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also
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 has some serious disadvantages which can negatively impact
people
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's lives.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure to clearly show how each advantage or disadvantage connects to the main point of the essay.
task achievement
Add more specific examples for both the advantages and disadvantages to support your points better.
coherence and cohesion
Try to make shorter sentences for easier reading and understanding.
positive
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps frame your ideas.
positive
You provided a good balance between advantages and disadvantages, which is essential for this type of essay.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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