IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

These days, people work in more than one job , and often change career several times during their life. What are the advantages and diadvantages of this ?

Nowadays, there is an increasing trend towards
people
Use synonyms
 switching
careers
Use synonyms
 multiple times during their lives and working in more than
one
Use synonyms
 workplace.
However
Linking Words
, there are both pros and cons to deciding to do
this
Linking Words
. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will discuss some of the
reasons
Use synonyms
 why
people
Use synonyms
 are inclined towards
this
Linking Words
 trend and some of the challenges to be overcome. Let’s begin by looking at the advantages of switching
careers
Use synonyms
.
One
Use synonyms
 of the positive aspects of changing
careers
Use synonyms
 multiple times will give
people
Use synonyms
 the freedom to find passion in their profession. What I mean by
this
Linking Words
 is that,often times
people
Use synonyms
 stuck in boring jobs or
careers
Use synonyms
 they no longer interested in and they're keep doing it for the sake of paying bills.
For instance
Linking Words
, by switching
careers
Use synonyms
 some
people
Use synonyms
 can fulfil their childhood dreams, they once had, but did not get the chance to fulfil them for so many
reasons
Use synonyms
.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 are
also
Linking Words
 working in more than
one
Use synonyms
 workplace . There are so many
reasons
Use synonyms
 for that.
One
Use synonyms
 of the
reasons
Use synonyms
 is that,
due to
Linking Words
 high inflation, some
people
Use synonyms
 are unable to provide enough for their family with
one
Use synonyms
job
Use synonyms
.
Consequently
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 have started working in more than
one
Use synonyms
job
Use synonyms
 to bring stability and prosperity to the household.Turning to the other side of the argument, switching
careers
Use synonyms
 and having more than
one
Use synonyms
job
Use synonyms
 does not always bring blessings. To be more precise, changing
careers
Use synonyms
 and having more than
one
Use synonyms
job
Use synonyms
 will create an imbalance in work and personal lives. Let's use the high rate of divorce as an example, the new survey has shown that the high rate of divorce is
due to
Linking Words
 couples having arguments about not having enough family time.
This
Linking Words
 often leads to depression, anxiety and other mental health problems. Another issue is that switching
careers
Use synonyms
 or working in two workplaces often creates the situation of burnout and mental fog in
people
Use synonyms
.
In other words
Linking Words
 ,
due to
Linking Words
 lack of rest,
people
Use synonyms
 are unable to focus and
this
Linking Words
 causes hindrances in their professional growth. All things considered, having more than
one
Use synonyms
job
Use synonyms
 and switching
careers
Use synonyms
 have its pros and cons. You need to weigh up the pros and cons of switching
careers
Use synonyms
 and having two incomes. Personally, I believe the benefits in terms of having the liberty to follow your passion and a stable income eventually outweigh any negatives.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence and cohesion
Try to better connect your ideas and use linking words like 'firstly', 'however', 'in addition' to improve flow.
task response
Make sure to clearly state your main points and support them with examples that are easy to understand.
coherence and cohesion
Check grammar and sentence structure for clarity. Use clear sentences to make your ideas more understandable.
task response
Your introduction sets a clear direction for your essay, which is a good start!
task response
You discuss both sides of the topic, which shows a balanced view.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: