IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. To what extent do you agree or disagree? In about 300 words, give examples to support your ideas.

The significance of advertising in
our
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
today's world is to assist enormous companies, tiny ones or even home businesses
grow
Fix the infinitive
to grow
show examples
 bigger, and reach an exceptional amount of customers.
This
Linking Words
 process is done
through
Change preposition
by
show examples
demostrating
Correct your spelling
demonstrating
 the concept of the company or the meant product
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 phones, screens or streets in a short
vieo
Correct your spelling
video
 that doesn't exceed 30 seconds. In
this
Linking Words
 essay I will illustrate to what extent
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 agree, to what extent I don't, and my
overall
Linking Words
 opinion. Ads can be helpful to some point. When shown in the right place, where it would fit and match the vibe of where it's shown
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
, and when they target the right audience, it'll most likely persuade
people
Use synonyms
 to buy from the publishing company as customers might have been looking for something similar.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, Ads can be really annoying. The root cause of
that is
Linking Words
 showing them where they don't fit
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 or for the wrong audience. For
instant
Replace the word
instance
show examples
, advertising for a university in a primary school.
Furthermore
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, announcing the opening of a gym in the intense care unit in a hospital. These Ads will annoy
people
Use synonyms
, and make them insist on not paying for the product or the service.
To conclude
Linking Words
, assisting tiny companies or local businesses to grow should be a social obligation, but when
people
Use synonyms
 get distracted by it, here, our views start to diverge. To publish a successful Ad, the Ad should be appropriate, and target the right audience.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, it should not exceed 1 minute.
Otherwise
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 will get
furiouse
Correct your spelling
furious
 and feel distracted from what they were originally doing.

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coherence and cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and supports it.
task achievement
Use clear topic sentences for each paragraph and develop your points further.
task achievement
Provide more relevant examples that fit your arguments throughout the essay.
positive
The introduction clearly outlines your opinion on the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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