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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

In past people feel difference in foreign culture. Nowadays, this situation is changed. What are the causes of these chnages? Do the advantages outweigh the disadavtages?

It is indisputable that every nation has its own
culture
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.
As a result
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, foreigners will feel disattached to new
cultures
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.
Nevertheless
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, the situation has changed recently. In my opinion, it is a positive development, as people's knowledge of
cultures
Use synonyms
 around the world has expanded
due to
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 the utilization of the internet which connects the world.
This
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 essay will include the factors that contributed to
such
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 a shift and present my position.
To begin
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 with, increasing the awareness of the territories' traditions and
culture
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 is beneficial. To illustrate, communication will be facilitated once the individual is aware of other
cultures
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 resulting in a more enhanced environment. A good example of
this
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 can be seen by the growing number of students who study abroad in different kinds of
cultures
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 without any concerns because they are already familiar with these new
cultures
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.
This
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 demonstrates that recognizing foreign
cultures
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 can be a reason that encourages the individual to accept new opportunities without hesitation. The primary factor behind
this
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 development was the advanced technology we are currently utilizing. Social Applications have exposed users to different types of
cultures
Use synonyms
 which reflects a knowledge growth in
this
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 topic.
For instance
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, Japanese
culture
Use synonyms
 gained a host of fans after a trend was published on TikTok by locals to show their own
culture
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.
This
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 led to a soar in the number of tourists who seek to experience Japanese
culture
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. In conclusion, there are many causes of expanding foreign cultural knowledge, but internet communications apps are the leading cause.
Furthermore
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,
this
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 development has levelled up global communication and positively impacted international students to be more familiar with their new environments.

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task achievement
Make sure to clearly state your opinion in the introduction. This helps the reader understand your position right away.
coherence cohesion
Use clearer linking words to help the flow of your ideas. Words like 'firstly', 'next', and 'finally' can help.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your points. This can make your arguments stronger and more convincing.
task achievement
You provided a good overview of the topic and mentioned the impact of technology on culture.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarized your main points.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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