IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows numbers of incidents and injuries per 100 million passenger miles travelled (PMT) by transportation type in 2002.

The chart below shows numbers of incidents and injuries per 100 million passenger miles travelled (PMT) by transportation type in 2002.
The bar chart illustrates the number of
incidents
Use synonyms
 and
injuries
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 for every 100 million passenger miles travelled on five different types of transportation in 2002.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is noticeable that most
incidents
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 and
injuries
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 occurred in demand-response per 100 million passenger miles travelled.
By contrast
Linking Words
, commuter
rail
Use synonyms
 had the lowest rate of
incidents
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 and
injuries
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. Demand response transport
services
Use synonyms
 accounted for 225
incidents
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 and 173
injuries
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. These figures were nearly three times as high as those for the second highest category, bus
services
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. There were 76
incidents
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 and 66 people were injured on buses.
Rail
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services
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 experienced fewer problems. The number of
incidents
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 on light
rail
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 trains equalled the figure recorded for buses, but there were significantly fewer
injuries
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, at only 39. Heavy railway
services
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 saw lower numbers than light
rail
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services
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.
While
Linking Words
 commuter
rail
Use synonyms
services
Use synonyms
 had
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
 problems, only 20
incidents
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 and 17
injuries
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 occurred on
this
Linking Words
rail
Use synonyms
.

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words incidents, injuries, rail, services with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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