There is a lot of pressure on young people today to succeed academically. As a result, some people believe that non-academic subjects, such as physical education and cookery, should be removed from the school syllabus so that children can concentrate on academic work. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience. Write at least 250 words.
Nowadays, young people face increasing pressure to succeed academically, as academic achievement is often seen as the gateway to future success. Some argue that to improve
students
' academic performance, non-academic subjects
like physical education and cooking should be removed from the school syllabus. However
, I strongly disagree with this
perspective, as non-academic subjects
also
play an essential role in students
' overall
development.
Firstly
, a school day filled with purely academic courses
can easily lead to burnout, stress, or even depression. The inclusion of non-academic courses
in the syllabus provides a much-needed break from the intense pressure of academic work. These courses
not only offer students
a respite but also
provide them with more opportunities to engage in creative or physical activities, which release stress and enhance their overall
learning experiences.
Secondly
, not all students
can deeply dive into academic settings. Non-academic subjects
allow students
to discover talents and passions outside of traditional academic disciplines. For instance
, a student who struggles with mathematics might have some strength in physical education or the arts, allowing them to build self-esteem and develop alternative career pathways. Education should cater to a range of abilities and interests, fostering well-rounded individuals rather than focusing solely on academic achievement.
In conclusion, despite the fact that academic play is very important in the studying pathway, non-academic subjects
cannot be excluded from the school syllabus. These subjects
play a critical role in improving either students
mental or physical health problems, Change noun form
student's
students'
practical
life skills, preparing them with necessary outlets to relieve stress and explore alternative talents. I believe a balanced curriculum is essential to preparing Correct word choice
and practical
students
not just for exams, but for life rather than eliminating non-academic courses
.Submitted by gvo1343 on
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task achievement
Ensure that each paragraph clearly supports your main argument. Although you have strong points, giving more specific examples can help make your argument even more convincing.
task achievement
Try to further elaborate on certain points to avoid any potential ambiguity. This will enhance the clarity and depth of your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Ensure logical flow between paragraphs with transitional phrases. This can make your essay read more smoothly.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear and cohesive structure with a well-defined introduction and conclusion.
task achievement
Key ideas are presented effectively and you have maintained good clarity throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
You draw logical connections between academic pressure and the importance of non-academic subjects, making your argument compelling.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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