Nowadays we see an increase in social problems involving teenagers. Many believe that it is because parents spend more time at work and less with their children. Do you agree or disagree

parents
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plays
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play
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a unique role
on
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in
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their
chldren
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children
life. There is a wide social
problems
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problem
show examples
about
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with
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teenagers some people argue that
paretns
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parents
should spend more
time
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with their
children
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and give them their
fully
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full
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attention rather than spending more
time
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at work. I agree with that
parents
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have to pay more attention to their
children
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. why
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parents
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do parents
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have to pay attention to their
children
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? because in today's
world
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world,
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there are many
unbehavior
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behaviour
people in our society
that
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who
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are interested
to take
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in taking
show examples
children
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their consciousness to their goals in that case your
children
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's
mindd
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minds
will change to the worst version.
for example
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,
reserch
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research
in 2019 confirmed that if
the
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apply
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parents
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spend more
time
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at work that will
effect
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affect
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the psyche of their
children
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then
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it will cause damage
in
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to
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their emotions.
moreover
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, even governments should put regulations for the forms to not put many shifts for workers and in that way we will reduce
this
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wide problem.
In addition
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, when workers work many hours will
effect
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affect
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on
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apply
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their body and their mind they will return
to
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apply
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home exhausted and in that
case
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case,
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they will not have
enogh
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enough
time
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to raise their
childdren
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children
significantly.Teenagers who lack parental support may turn to negative influences,
such
Linking Words
as peer pressure or unhealthy relationships,
due to
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the absence of guidance. In conclusion,
parents
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can choose whether they want their
children
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much more brilliant and
had
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have
show examples
no damage or destroy their minds and feelings.

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grammatical accuracy
Make sure to check your spelling and grammar. Some words are misspelled, and this can confuse the reader.
coherence and cohesion
Try to break your ideas into clearer paragraphs. Each paragraph should focus on a single point to improve understanding.
task achievement
Use clearer examples that connect directly to your main point. This will help strengthen your argument.
task achievement
You express a clear opinion about the importance of parents spending time with their children.
task achievement
You have included some relevant reasons to support your argument about parental attention.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
Topic Vocabulary:
  • increase
  • social problems
  • teenagers
  • parents
  • work
  • time
  • children
  • agree
  • disagree
  • family
  • activities
  • loneliness
  • behavior
  • changes
  • support
  • values
  • belonging
  • influence
  • peer pressure
  • relationships
  • guidance
  • stress
  • communicate
  • effectively
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